Today

Was a good day. It was really productive for the first half of the day and I think I figured out what caused the second half to be not so productive...my nap. I keep thinking its a good idea to take a nap in the middle of the day, I think I am going to wake up refreshed and ready for the rest of the day. WRONG. I wake up grumpy, rushed to get out the door to pick Oldest Girl from school. And then the rest of the day is completely ruined. So I am vetoing the nap.

Do you think maybe God is trying to get me to read my Bible during the time I am thinking I need to nap? that is truly a possibility. Do you think maybe I could listen to Him? It's getting a little ridiculous I'm not listening more and trying to sleep less.

That is my goal this week. I am going to actually READ my Bible!!!!

This is fun

I love that I can finally put pictures up here without too much trouble, nice!!!

This weekend, we went to visit Jesse's Grandma at the Red Hat Ladies National Convention. She lives in Alabama so she was really excited that we came to visit her in Tennessee! :) It was an awesome awesome time! They are darling, 3000+ red hats everywhere...apparently if you wear a red outfit with a purple hat, it means your birthday is that month, how sweet to hear all the little ladies walking by saying "Happy Birthday" to Grandma's friend!!! We had a ball!!!!

My little man

9pm...all things in picture are in various places around the room...sometimes you just have to laugh!

If I didn't have Christ

A friend of mine is going through a really hard time right now. Her son made some seriously bad decisions and now he has to pay for it. We found out about it last night and I haven't stopped thinking about it. I don't know what my role in this other than support. I believe he knows what he did is wrong, I believe he knew it when it happened. I am struggling with a few things right now...my first responsibility is to my husband and my children. I know this. I will be very cautious about what is said in front of my children and very cautious about what they believe is right about what is going (if they were to hear anything). I also believe this has been a wake-up call for my friend. She is married to someone who is not a Believer but he is willing to go to Church. I believe this may be the catalyst to get them all into Church. I guess I think this is where I come in. I attend a great Church and think the Youth Group there is amazing...our Youth Minister is totally willing to meet with this family (mind you he's never met them) and totally willing to work with them.

Ok...this is so a brain dump post...but I did meet with our youth minister today and he had really good things to say...here are a couple:

1 You ARE who you hang out with. Like it or not, if you associate yourself with good people, inadvertantly you could become good ;). Likewise, if you hang out with hoodlums you could become a hoodlum. It's not that you started out thinking what they were doing is ok...I guess I can give an example here: I waited tables at a restaurant. I started out STRONG in my Faith, in my convictions and my beliefs...but the more I worked there, the more tolerant I became. I started being "ok with it" as long as I didn't participate. As I watched myself in this situation I knew I could become more than an observer. I could end up participating...at that point, it was time to leave...I have been toying with the idea of going back...I believe I am not supposed to go back. I can't be around that lifestyle.

2. Do you believe in a God that comes down from Heaven and points a finger at you and says "YOU SHOULDN"T BE DOING THAT, YOU ARE BAD, YOU CAN"T DO THAT KIND OF THING" Or do you believe in a God that comes down from Heaven looks at you and says "My precious, precious child, the decisions you are making are not what you are about. The decisions you are making are not good ones and that is not what you want for yourself. They are not what I want for you either."

Sorry for the brain dump...I am a little sad, upset, worried, prayerful, annoyed, angry...many other adjectives come to mind...I just know this kid and he needs some serious love and discipline and hopefully this is going to set him right...not the other way.

Random thoughts...

I want to take care of the environment. I do...do I sound weird to say I don't know how? I have been reading my friend Jamie's blog and she is talking about doing things and I am so impressed! It makes me think about another friend of mine who actually recycles a TON of things. I want to do this. I want to get the buckets and follow through with recycling...so that is my goal right now. I might even buy a gdiaper. Check them out! WOW! I know I have dealt with cloth diapers when my brother was a baby, he wore them and I cleaned them out in the potty...this can't be that much different. I should probably have done this a long time ago...but I am not sure I could have handled it. Not sure I can now but I am going to think about it before I rule it out. I am really serious about eating healthier, snacking healthier ( I could use ANY and ALL ideas for this...it is getting boring!) and just taking care of myself and my family better. This goes for my spiritual life as well. Things are looking up in that department, I have been seeking a lot lately and it is really making a difference in my life. I am feeling like a better mother and wife and well, hopefully a better person. I am minimally better...I want more for all of those areas...I guess if I didn't want more I wouldn't be doing what I was supposed to...if we start thinking we have it all figured out, we wont' grow...and when we don't grow, we become stagnant...think about stagnant water, EWWWW...I want to be moving all the time...in a good way. I guess that is enough rambling for now! :)

WOW! What a story!

I just finished reading "Izzy's Story" and WOW, I am so going to pay more attention to the water at my house!!

Wrestling with God

So I'm at the grocery store a couple of weeks ago...it is time to purchase hand soap. I sit there for a few minutes looking at the different types of soap, the fancy stuff that cost 2.86 per container or the cheaper stuff that costs .94 cents a container. I look and look and look. I wrestle with my thoughts, "why do I need the more expensive soap? It looks nicer. The container is nicer and it has about an 1/8 of an ounce more than the other one. I can handle this. I am not on that tight of a budget" All of this is going through my mind even though I know, I KNOW THIS...I am not supposed to purchase the more expensive soap. I am supposed to buy the less expensive becasue its JUST SOAP. So what did I do, you ask? Of course, I totally did the wrong thing and purchased the more expensive soap.

Fast forward about two weeks...I am officially using the more expensive soap. I hate it. It gets everywhere, it stains the sink (it's pink). It is such a pain.

Where does this leave me? I believe it leaves me thinking I need to listen more and think less. God has a plan for me. He knows what I should do and what is right for me. If I choose not to listen to Him, chances are I'm going to be annoyed with my soap...

Our Weekend

My brother and his wife came into town, it was a lot of fun! They have two dogs, Bella (a maltese) and Luca (a yorkie). Bella is truly a princess...she is adorable, sweet, kind, loving, playful...all of the things you desire in a dog. Luca...is so stinking cute you could eat him...then he opens his mouth and BARKS at EVERYTHING! He is really adorable...once he gets used to you, he loves to be rubbed and scratched and loved on...he just can't stand kids, did I mention I have four of those? He is scared of his own shadow (can't avoid that) and he just in general doesn't like new things...but he sure is sweet. I believe they are my only niece and nephew for awhile so I guess I should just sit back, relax and stop asking about human nieces and nephews.

Oldest boy scored his FIRST GOAL IN SOCCER EVER yesterday! He was so proud of himself, it was AWESOME! He played so well and loved playing! He is so athletic, it is so much fun to watch him on the soccer field! We stayed for the other game Hubby co-coaches, 6/7 year olds. They are all getting so talented! Most of the kids Hubby and Flicka's Hubby have coached for about three years, so watching them grow from cats on a soccer field with coaches chasing them ON THE FIELD to get the HERD OF CATS to move to the right position small children to agile 6/7 year olds has been so much fun! Can't wait for the rest of the season!!

That is it for my posting tonight...sleepy despite the 2 hour nap this afternoon!! Going to take advantage of the sleepiness and go to bed!!!

Don't forget about Heather's Big Day Tomorrow!

Tomorrow, jump on over to BooMama's and donate a dollar (that is only the minimum my friends) to Heather. Help her get a dinner at Burger King while she's in Minnesota. Check Heather out if you are curious about what is going on...XOXOXOXO

Curious...

As I was walking home from Flicka's house today, I encountered not so nice thoughts about my newest neighbor (not the person living there, let me be specific...but the owner of the house). I saw pretty flowers on the porch and my anger at this man really got the best of me and I actually wondered (for a split second)...what it would be like to take his flowers off the porch and plant them in my yard. He is not a nice man...I'm really upset with him...but I am not a thief. I have NEVER stolen anything (that I can remember...). I cannot believe this thought even entered my head. SERIOUSLY, what is wrong with me...

This is where my curiosity comes into play...does being a Christian mean I am to NEVER have those "bad" thoughts? Or does it mean I am to STOP myself from thinking these thoughts when they enter my head? Or does it mean I am to react "properly" to the thoughts, meaning not act on those thoughts? See, I think I am REALLY wrong in thinking this. I am really upset with myself and worried I do not have the right heart. Now, with this man, I don't have the right heart yet. I am obviously NOT trying hard enough to have the right heart...

I digress...the reason this bothers me is because in the New Testament, Jesus makes it VERY clear if you think about another woman when married (for men), you are cheating. So if I had this thought, did I steal?

Prayer. That is my only answer. I am praying for my own heart to be right with God.

Prayer Request...TIMES TWO...

A friend of ours, Rachel, is going through a really tough time with her mom...she has Stage III ovarian cancer. This is not an "easy" cancer...it has spread to a lot of other organs. If you could PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray for this family! They are amazing people and could totally use any prayer they can get!!!!

While you are at it...

I am sure a lot of you have already been HERE but if you haven't, please check out Heather...she is an awesome mom, homeschooler...just all around neat lady (nope, haven't met in person but WOW is she inspiring). So please, please, please pray for her as she goes through this new extremely tough situation. She has been diagnosed with a brain tumor. Thank The Lord she even found it...GO MAYO GO MAYO GO MAYO!! On April 18th, BooMama is hosting a fundraiser for Heather...if you feel it in you...give! :)

In My Quest to be a Better Parent

I have decided I have to give up Diet Coke. This is going to be more painful for me than I think dr*gs would be to give up. Simply put, I need a 12 step program...but believe I am being convicted. I have been reading "Shepherding a Child's Heart" and there has been no direct mention of Diet Coke (ha...wouldn't that be funny) but there has been mention of being a better parent (or rather a Biblical Parent)...to do this, I have been thinking about what I am exposing my children to. So along with the Diet Coke...ok...wait, let me finish one thought before another is started...

So I was thinking of the saying "Children learn what they live." I have been telling my kids how bad Diet Coke is for me. They are aware I shouldn't be drinking it. They are also aware I am putting it in my body and actually arguing with them about it sometimes. What am I teaching my children? "Hey, it's ok for ME to do what I'm not supposed to, I'M THE MOM". What is that all about? UGH!

As for the other, I can't even remember what I was going to write but I'm sure it was good information...tee hee. I will post tomorrow if I think of it. Pray for me PLEASE! I am terribly nervous about giving up DC. Seriously.

What do I consider important?

I've been soul-searching a lot. I don't believe I am finished, I believe this is something I will do forever. But I have figured a few things out. I, for some reason, want to do something "important". So I started thinking about that. What is important? Is it important that a lot of people know me? Is it important that a lot of people respect me? Is it important that I make a million dollars? What is important...not one of those things is important. I thought they were. I really did. I have been thinking it is such a waste of such a great personality (ok, I'm joking here) to just be a mom. HA! What was I thinking? What warped worldly view have I joined? What idol have I been serving? SELF. I have been serving myself and my worldly wants.

While I finally realized how absolutely important my children are (I have always thought they were important, please don't read more into this than there is), I also realized being their mom is equally important as them themselves. That means I have to be emotionally healthy, phsically healthy and mentally healthy to be a good mom to them. So what to do?

For myself, I am exercising. I am reading, A LOT. I am doing research to make sure I am making good choices for our family for a variety of things. I am praying. I am going to read my Bible more (I REALLY MEAN THIS...).

For my kids: I am praying for them. I am talking in a different tone to them (this is a constant battle for me, please pray for me if you think about it). I am hugging them more. I am making sure the decisions I make are going to benefit them. I am working on my relationship with my husband more (I want them to respect him and love him in a way that is different than I was able to with my own dad).

So this is my journey. I don't think it is a short trip...I believe this is lifelong. I don't want to end up as an empty nester thinking I failed my kids. Failed myself. Failed my relationship with my Father God. I want better for us...not monetarily (don't get me wrong, money is nice...ha!)...but spiritually and emotionally and physically.

Ok...my rambling is over....

Check this out!

This family took a 1 year "vacation". They are planning on doing a lot of acts of service...COOL idea!!

Why I am Thankful

This article was not something I had ever thought about. Not even for my parents. But it brought me to tears...how ungrateful I am for the gifts of my children. How I take them being here for granted. God gave me this time in their lives to MOLD them into followers of Christ...what am I doing to ensure this? So...I am reading "Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Tedd Tripp. I am determined to work through this parenting thing...I want to be the best mom I can be...and the best wife...guess that means I should be folding laundry instead of blogging, ha! :)

Why Questions...from Aaron

Our friend Aaron (of SPUR58) started this great topic...thought I would contribute my top 5 to my own blog...

Why was I given four beautiful children when I made the mistake I made so many years ago?

Why do I feel like a failure as a parent on a regular basis?

Why don't I read my Bible more consistently?

What does it take to feel like a Christian?

Why do I want my heart to feel like God is wrapped around it and through it and under it and over it...and yet, I feel like I don't have that heart....?

Apparently I am not finished "talking" yet!

Have you ever been on a jury? Watched an episode of "Law & Order"? Been curious (because I've never been on a jury) about what happens to the jury when the judge tells them to consider the words that just came from either the prosecuting attorney or defense attorney or the person on the stand to be stricken? (WHOO RUN ON SENTENCE). I was thinking about it tonight...in the library. Is there ANY way to remove the words you just heard from your brain? Is there any way to take back what has been put into your mind and hypnotise yourself into believing it isn't there anymore? Hmmmmmmm...something tells me I couldn't do that. This leads me to believe if I say something to someone, chances are, it's in their head. If I yell at my kids, it's there. It isn't going away. If I say something wrong to someone, intentionally or unintentionally, it's out there. Have you ever heard the story about the nails & the fence? There is a little boy, he is not being very nice...his dad needs him to understand what he is doing...he sends the boy to a fence with a bucket of nails and a hammer. He tells the boy to hammer the nails into the fence. The boy does. Then the dad tells him to remove all of the nails he just hammered into the fence. The boy does. Here's what makes my heart hurt...The dad then walks out to the fence to meet the boy. He kneels down next to him and calmly explains how the nails represent the words of anger or frustration or whatever the boy might have said to someone. The holes are what are left...even after the boy apologizes to the person he hurts. How often do I do this? I know this is the same as the previous post...ha! I am overloaded with pms and too little sleep.

The Two Second Rule

My mom taught Oldest Girl something last year...I wish I could figure out how to make it work myself. She taught her the "Two Second Rule". This rule is simple: before you speak, wait two seconds. IF what you say is still ok to say, say it. If not, you hurt someone unintentionally, you say the first thing on your mind...and you could say something you will regret. Now, an 8 year old has a little bit of a grace period when it comes to this new rule. Me...I'm 32...I don't believe I have an excuse anymore. If anything, I need to wake up and smell some time-out. It amazes me how quickly a small comment can turn into something you NEVER meant to say or NEVER meant someone else to feel. So...my new goal for myself: "Two Second Rule". I'm going to try it...see how it works. I am generally a decent person...but with my husband...my kids...and my friends...I think I need to work a little...ok...a lot. I truly believe you can never improve yourself enough...I want to be a better person...ongoing...

Amazing Hearts...

So today, we had a yard sale. All day long I have been fighting the "grumpies". I hate the grumpies, they make me grumpy...(by the way, I'm the grumpies...). So anyway, I finished with my yard sale earlier than normal because I was just tired...and Oldest Girl had to go to the orthodontist (she just received her expander today). Anyway...the point of this whole story is this...I decided to put the rest of the yard sale stuff in the front lawn with a sign that said FREE. So I leave...and get a phone call from my friend Flicka telling me she was watching some people at our house...they were looking at stuff...then they looked at our herb garden and Flicka was worried they were going to try to take something not in the "Free Sale". So she (THANK YOU FLICKA...you have no idea how appreciated you are...) came down here to make sure they weren't taking something they shouldn't...and found out THEY WERE TRYING TO LEAVE MONEY! I couldn't believe it. I seriously think that was medicine to my soul. It wasn't the money...that wasn't it all...it was the heart behind the money. What special people they were to leave money at a FREE YARD SALE! So if it was you...thank you. You are truly special people!!

Why Not?

So 5 Minutes for Mom is having a contest. I am NEVER opposed to winning something...so how about a DYSON Slim? YEE HAW! Check out Dyson....