Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Curious...

Does anyone out there battle with feeling pathetic because they get depressed? I mean here I have a WONDERFUL home...fabulous children, handsome husband...too many clothes (seriously)...AMAZING friends...wonderful extended family...NOTHING IS WRONG...have seen what WRONG looks like but not directly to me...and I am depressed. Not the, oh, I'm kinda in a bad mood depressed...more like the I don't want to fold the laundry depressed (not the normal I don't want to fold the laundry)...the I want to sleep all day depressed...the I HAVE NO PATIENCE WITH MY CHILDREN AND DIDN"T PRAY FOR PATIENCE depressed...the I am not sure what to do to get out of this depressed...

I have talked to someone before and while it wasn't overly helpful, it wasn't bad...maybe that is what I need? I just want to know why my nuerons are FAILING ME. I have seen a close friend of mine go through a HORRIBLE experience...I have read about horrible experiences from other bloggers...WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I know I am loved by My Savior. I know He is there for me...why can't I just wrap my arms around that and forget this yucky feeling?? Am I truly losing it????

9 comments:

Heather said...

No you are not losing it. I know what you are feelinging I think. I struggle with knowing I am loved by God so that should make me feel good but it doesn't. I struggle with the fact that I am a Christ follower so I shouldn't be depressed. I think that depression is a sickness just like diabetis or high blood pressuer or something. After the fall sin entered and along with that sickness. Depression is a sickness and I think it's ok to take medicine for it if you fell that's what you need. I would love to talk to you more about this. I'm praying for you ((Hug))

the_a_team said...

We talked about this once at Life Group. Our Life Group leader told us that he used to wear thick "coke bottle" glasses. He decided one day to pray that God would heal his eyes. He said he threw his glasses out the door into the street wher ethey got messed up. His eye sight stayed the same. That's when he realized sometimes we have to live with glasses, hearing problems, depression or whatever it may be. And we should use the resources available to us to help us cope with what is wrong. I don't know if this made any sense, (in my head it did). But I think depression is a sickness, and if you had a sore throat you would ignore it. So why ignore this? I don't want to upset you, but I care so much for you and your family!

The Setliffe Family said...

hey tamara. i have also struggled with seasons of depression in my life. the only thing that truly delivers me from a "funk" is spending extra time studying God's Word & what He says about me there & then serving other people...getting my eyes off of myself. I also agree that depression is a result of the fall & it is something that the enemy uses (especially in the lives of women) to make them feel like they are worthless & unfit to serve God. Of course the opposite is true...you were made in God's image & He created you to bring Him glory. I read Psalm 30 this morning & I thought about you. So this is what I'm praying for you: "To You, O Lord, I called; to the Lord I cried for mercy: 'What gain is there in my destruction, in my going down into the pit? Will the dust praise You? Will it proclaim Your faithfulness? Hear O Lord, and be merciful to me; O Lord, be my help.' You turned my wailing into dancing: you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to You and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give You thanks forever." Psalm 30: 8-12

Jennifer said...

I too deal with this a lot. I was actually on medicine for it and I felt like such an awful Christian because Here I was serving God living by Faith but yet struggling with Depression. I struggled personally for years about taking anything for it but finally I saw a Christian therapist who explained it like this to me. If you have cancer, or diabetes or someother illness you take meds for it. Depression is no different. It runs prevalent in my family and We have the low seratonin. Am I telling you this to get you to take meds? Absolutely not. I am trying to show you that it is sometimes a medical issue that you have no control over. I think everyone suffers from the blues but for others it is worst and more frequent. Thank GOD that you have him in your life to help you through it. Can you imagine how others that don't know God feel? Hopeless. I will be praying for you.

the_a_team said...

I totally meant to write "you wouldn't ignore it." Sorry!

Victoria said...

Hi my beautiful sista!! I just wanted to write and tell you I love you! And I think that it is in our weakness that God is strong. weaknesses in the Bible do not mean "sin" in our life but circumstances and situations that are beyond our control. Sometimes God allows a thorn to teach us His strength. Sometimes He allows these weaknesses to humble us in the midst of them. And show us that being weak is not BAD but GOOD! Do not allow others (me or any other believer or nonbeliever) to influence your image of worth. Cause bottomline God teaches us that when we are weak He is strong. It is NEVER about being a "good Christian" I am realizing more and more lately that it is about being okay in weaknesses and rejoicing all the more... (*I am rambling and repeating...sorry) so check out this sermon online - I just listened to it last night again actually really good. Go to: http://www.nlfhouston.org/sermons.php
and then go to:July 16, 2006 sermon (you can download) it is really really good I thought.
I LOVE YOU> Luv ur lil' sista!

Stacey said...

You are amazing!! Your honesty and candor are such an inspiration to me!!
Have you read Hinds Feet on High Places? I think it will bless you at this season. Remember that: this is only a season! While you may have all these emotions that are seeming to overwhelm you, nothing has actually changed: you are loved, you are saved, you are brilliant!! This depression doesn't make you less brilliant!! It is a season of your life, a cross to bear. Perhaps medication is the way to go for you. I agree with Heather who says that it is a disease. You didn't do anything to deserve this and just "snapping out of it" likely won't happen.
I would say, cut yourself some slack. Don't be so hard on yourself. Let go of the "I shoulds" and embrace who you are today, crosses & all.

I love you and think you are amazing. Christ loves you more!

Phil said...

I think you deleted a post tonight, but it showed up in my Google Reader, and I just wanted to tell you that there are a lot of people out there, including me, who go through times when they feel sad and lonely. That's when I head to the nearest stash of chocolate!

dcrmom said...

No, you're not alone. I hope it gets better. You've had a lot of great advice here.