Thursday, April 5, 2007

What do I consider important?

I've been soul-searching a lot. I don't believe I am finished, I believe this is something I will do forever. But I have figured a few things out. I, for some reason, want to do something "important". So I started thinking about that. What is important? Is it important that a lot of people know me? Is it important that a lot of people respect me? Is it important that I make a million dollars? What is important...not one of those things is important. I thought they were. I really did. I have been thinking it is such a waste of such a great personality (ok, I'm joking here) to just be a mom. HA! What was I thinking? What warped worldly view have I joined? What idol have I been serving? SELF. I have been serving myself and my worldly wants.

While I finally realized how absolutely important my children are (I have always thought they were important, please don't read more into this than there is), I also realized being their mom is equally important as them themselves. That means I have to be emotionally healthy, phsically healthy and mentally healthy to be a good mom to them. So what to do?

For myself, I am exercising. I am reading, A LOT. I am doing research to make sure I am making good choices for our family for a variety of things. I am praying. I am going to read my Bible more (I REALLY MEAN THIS...).

For my kids: I am praying for them. I am talking in a different tone to them (this is a constant battle for me, please pray for me if you think about it). I am hugging them more. I am making sure the decisions I make are going to benefit them. I am working on my relationship with my husband more (I want them to respect him and love him in a way that is different than I was able to with my own dad).

So this is my journey. I don't think it is a short trip...I believe this is lifelong. I don't want to end up as an empty nester thinking I failed my kids. Failed myself. Failed my relationship with my Father God. I want better for us...not monetarily (don't get me wrong, money is nice...ha!)...but spiritually and emotionally and physically. rambling is over....


4andcounting said...

I'm there too. Still working on it.

Brad said...

I feel a little silly telling you about decorating eggs after such a thought-provoking blog, but you did want to know! :) Here's what you do: draw and cut out an egg shape on a piece of white construction paper or cardstock. Mix sweetened condensed milk (not evaported milk) with food coloring (it will look kind of pale, but dries darker). There are two ways to apply the milk to the egg, you can just "glop" it on and hang the egg up and all the colors will "drip" together, or (and I like this way better myself) you can just paint the milk on and then let it dry. The milk will dry shiny and look really cool. Sometimes the egg might curl up, and you can just press it between two big books and it will flatten out. It's just fun and different! Hope you enjoy it!

dcrmom said...

I'm right there with ya!

Gayle said...

I'm in the same stage right now. I wonder it it's the shepherding book that's bringing it all to the surface. Really working on enjoying my kids and speaking kindly and patiently....handling their issues with wisdom and love rather than STOP IT NOW OR I'M GONNA FREAK OUT!!!!! Seems like fessin up to God every morning and asking for HIS help throughout the day is key for me! Kind of like a time out for mommy! I'm praying with ya, sistah!