I have this child...

And I am not sure what to do with him. He is two and a half...and I am sure some would say he is just a terrible two year old. I am not so certain. What I think is something is wrong...I'm not sure what...but something is wrong. He FREAKS out at the drop of a hat...if I do ANYTHING he doesn't want me to do, he GOES BALLISTIC...I'm not talking a little angry...I'm not even talking a medium angry...I'm talking RIDICULOUSLY UNCONTROLLABLY UNCONSOLABLY angry...yelling at me, hitting, screaming...it's something pretty awful. I am not sure what to do other than ask for serious prayer. I am so frustrated. So sad and so unsure. You would think after three other children, ok one is the same age as the troublesome child, I would know how to handle this. Jesse is truly unable to deal with it even for a little while, he can't keep his patience at all. Not that I blame him, it is really a struggle for me and I don't always succeed...promise! :) So...anyway...that is my story right now. I have a ton more to say...but am about to watch a movie with the family and the kids are all down for the night (YEA FOR A POOL...Swimming makes you really tired, eh!).

Hope everyone is doing well...Christmastime leaves me melancholy...not sure why...but I have heard this more than once...sending prayers out to all who are struggling and prayers of thanksgiving to those who are not!

Interesting Thoughts...

My sister posted this on her blog site so I thought I would pass it along...interesting and well...true information...

(below taken from: http://www.faqfarm.com/Q/Why_did_Christmas_begin )

The History of Christmas

Before the fourth century, the primary Christian celebration was Easter, celebration of the resurrection of Jesus. In the fourth century, church officials decided to institute the birth of Jesus as a holiday. Unfortunately, the Bible does not mention date for his birth (a fact Puritans later pointed out in order to deny the legitimacy of the celebration). Although some evidence suggests that his birth may have occurred in the spring (why would shepherds be herding in the middle of winter?), Pope Julius I chose December 25. It is commonly believed that the church chose this date in an effort to adopt and absorb the traditions of the pagan Saturnalia festival. First called the Feast of the Nativity, the custom spread to Egypt by 432 and to England by the end of the sixth century. By the end of the eighth century, the celebration of Christmas had spread all the way to Scandinavia. For more information about Christmas and other holidays (literally means "holy days"), go to www.history.com.

I really wish more Christians would study what we believe, why we believe and what the historical basis for some of the things we scream from rooftops much to our horror in false speeches. Christmas should be a time that we remember who the true Light of the world is - but not because it was the historical basis of Christmas but because Christ was, is and always will be the true Light of the world. No matter what day of the year it is. Let us not scream false proclamations to our neighbors in horror because they do not believe what we believe accusing them false of taking out something that was never originally there - and instead let us pray seeking God's purpose and will - seeking where the Holy Spirit is leading each of us to reach out a hand helping someone in need. Christ gave us many many man commands and urgencies on our lives - to proclaim the Gospel of Christ, to love our neighbors as ourselves, to feed the poor, to help the widow..



Let us focus on the commands Christ gave us - and not waste so much time on the things that His Word never mention. Today is Christmas - let us as believers be ambassodors of Christ - the light on the hill - and be love to our families, our friends, and our neighbors who may not know the true Light of this world.

Peace He left with us - not as the world gives...but true peace. Let that be in our thoughts today.

My dear sweet loving and oh so determined 5 year old

So I was talking to a friend of mine tonight and decided I would tell her about our oldest son and his Christmas request. Quite hilarious...So oldest son decides he wants a guitar for Christmas. I tell him its a great idea to ask santa for one. BTW, he calls them a katar. So Oldest Son asks for a "katar". I'm thinking, that is awesome...he's going to get a "katar" if I have to search high and low for one...but NO, they are EVERYWHERE! So we are at Target one day shopping for other people for Christmas and I see a guitar on the shelf, I'm like "hey little man, what do you think of that guitar? Isn't it cool?" His response "yeah, it's ok...but I want a blue katar". A blue katar. A blue katar...what is he thinking? I'm like, "what if santa can't find a blue guitar" His reponse, "Then just tell santa not to get one and you can get me one for my birthday". So I'm like great, what am I going to do now...he wants a blue "katar". UGH! So get this...we are at a mall recently and I see a BLUE GUITAR! I am so excited, I tell oldest boy we are going to go into this store and get an ornament...great excuse...so we go into the store and oldest boy starts looking at the blue guitars...I go to the counter and apparently at this store, you order from the counter, it was great...I purchase the "BLUE KATAR" and we are leaving...Me to oldest boy, "what did you think of those guitarts?" Oldest boy..."they are ok but they are too small. I don't want a small one. And I want one with fire on it..." FIRE on it...great, now i not only have a too small BLUE KATAR but it doesn't have fire on it. GREAT GREAT GREAT! SO...I call my handy dandy friend who is an artist and she agrees to paint flames on the guitar I've purchased...so I figure, even if it's too small, at least oldest boy will have a blue guitar with flames on it...WHAT CHILD KNOWS THIS MUCH ABOUT GUITARS...THIS IS INSANE!!! So anyway, santa came early this year due to oldest daughter going out of town this last week to her grandparents...and oldest boy got his Blue Katar with Flames...he is THRILLED! I am so excited and he is so happy...PHEW...thank goodness it was ok, ha ha ha!!

I truly thank God for my friends

It sure is nice to have REAL friends...I have always had friends, but none that are not only honest but loving to me. I have a wonderful family, they are amazing, and they have been there for me for always...but I've NEVER EVER had friends like the ones I have now. Pretty blessed, I must say...

Todays adventures in parenting

What did today look like? Let's see...we got up at a pretty decent time and managed to accomplish a little...I actually got down on my hands and knees (probably should have changed into shorts) and SCRUBBED the kitchen floor. It was in desparate need of a good scrubbing...in fact, I believe it could use it again tomorrow. Not going to happen but it's nice to think about, ha! Not much else to report...I have a boring life sometimes...but I admit, I wouldn't trade it for anything!!! I have four beautiful children and a wonderful husband...God sure has blessed us!!!!!

I am a pathetic human...

So what is it about being FORCED to stay home that makes it so much worse that choosing to stay at home? I love being home with my kids, being able to do whatever we want ALL day long and not having to go anywhere...but then, I am told I can't go anywhere (by myself mainly) and I am going insane. We even went out and saw Jesse at the shop, JUST TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE...we didn't stay, the babies didn't get out of the car and we didn't expose anyone to our "yuck" but we got out of the house for a few...I feel considerably better...not really...I have so many things that need to be done, cleaning being one of the main ones...I can't convince myself to get on it. I've got to finish the laundry so when I get back it's not overwhelming. And I probably should pack sometime in the near future...we are leaving in four days. I really haven't finished Christmas shopping yet, I have to get Jesse's dad a present...I hate buying presents just to buy them though. Last year, I made him a fleece blanket, I finally succeeded in making him something he loves...this year...NOTHING. UGH! What am I going to do. What do you get the guy who has EVERYTHING and generally the things he doesn't have, we can't go out and just purchase for him...HELP! :)

Ok...other than that, I have no complaints...so really, I have no complaints...but it is nice to get the little stuff out of myself here instead of getting irritable with my husband or emailing my friends too much...although I probably still do that, ha!

Going to watch the rerun of CSI...

Two Down Two to Go

So the baby of the family has strep throat. This is what I get for assuming our family was immune to this yuck! We have NEVER dealt with it before, Jesse and I have NEVER had it and neither had Tyler. Now we have two down with it. Thankfully, the shot works within 24 hours and we can officially run our errands tomorrow evening. UGH! I still think we won't go to Church tomorrow night, not sure it's worth the risk of #1 infecting someone else on the off chance another child is contagious and #2 catching something else from someone at Church...I do however, need to take my secret sister gift to the Church...guess Jesse can do that? UGH! It has been a rough week. I dont' know how my friend down the street has dealt with this for so long...her crew was sick for a LONG week!!!!

PRAY FOR US PLEASE!

Hmmmmm

I love to read...so I read about other people on their blogs, or books or random other things...I am having trouble getting back to reading my Bible...I'm not very good at it. I get good at it for awhile and then it goes away...it is so easy to get complacent about Christianity. Here's my dilema: How do I know I am a Christian? Seriously...I know that sounds really random but here is the backround for it...I read other people's blogs, hear other people talk, etc. They say things like "God is so good"...and random other comments...God has really helped me in this decision, etc. And I wonder how they get those emotions inside themselves. What am I doing wrong. I know I want it. I really really want it. I want the emotions that go along with the belief. I TOTALLY TOTALLY believe...I have even questioned my belief...thought it through...and still came to the same conclusion, there is no denying Jesus is the Son of God. He really died for us. He died for me. What is wrong with me? I almost feel snide comments or snide emotions when I hear things...I don't really feel that way, I don't want to feel that way if I do feel that way. I LOVE GOD! How do I make myself feel things? Something is truly wrong with me...

Strep Throat

Never had it, never had a child with it...UNTIL NOW. Just goes to show you can't assume you won't get something just because you haven't in the past. YUCK! Learning how to deal with it and make him more comfortable...apparently he is a stomach ache guy when he has strep also...SAD DAYS at the Cosby's. Guess we should be glad it will be over soon, antibiotic shots are beautiful things! Ok...Parker might not think so but I do! :)

Sick Baby...

So the oldest boy is sick. He is so different when he is sick. He doesn't play, doesn't run around...cries at the drop of a hat...it is terribly sad!! So I gave him tylenol and all was well for about 4 hours...then all the sudden, he's back to being so sad. I rarely am a sympathetic mom (a HUGE fault of mine) and tonight, I hope I was able to share with him that it's ok to be sick...not like it's my favorite thing or anything but I want him to know it's ok...he's not frustrating me or anything like that...does that make sense?

Jesse's parents came today and put my Christmas present on the wall. It turned out great! If I could figure out how in the world to put pictures on this blog, I would show you! Since I can't figure it out, let me tell you...it is 5 - 14" squares connected and painted black. Then I got to put my beautiful plates in them. It's so awesome on the freshly painted red wall! :) I am so blessed!!!!

Jesse is out working right now...we haven't seen much of him today...at least he got to see the kids this morning. They would have been a little frustrated if I had told them they had to stay in the back of the house the entire day! :) HA!

Ok...I am so tired...think I may try to go to sleep.

So I have a direct link to Santa...

And I managed to "email" him to come to our house tonight...BOY are we nuts? I am not sure what we were thinking other than our two older children are going to their grandparents tomorrow and we aren't going to have access to them until next Friday when we pick them up to go to their other grandparents...Wow...lots of travel and no way can santa bring all of his toys to those places...so there you go.

I'm looking at their gifts and thinking...yeah, we went a little overboard, not completely overboard, some of the things were REALLY thought out...we got them MOON SHOES...to encourage exercise...SLIP SHOES to encourage exercise...a POGOSTICK that all of them should eventually be able to use...to encourage exercise. There were ulterior motives for the majority of the things they are getting....the train set, encourages imaginative play...ok...so most of it is totally unnecessary...TRULY unnecessary...but it is fun. We didn't OVER SPEND on all but a couple of things...and there was no avoiding the price of a couple of things...I'm pathetic...that is what it boils down to. I am truly pathetic. I don't remember a Christmas we didn't get a gazillion presents. I really don't. My mom says there were years we had really lean Christmas's..I can't tell you when, I always felt like I got a TON of things...next year...I want to do some things differently, that is for sure...I am thinking a lot on this subject. Not sure what the outcome is...but God is working on me...I can feel it.

Ok...going to put together a crazy zoo for our oldest son...see you in about 4 hours...these things take FOREVER!

Why we do what we do...

I think I've figured it out...Christmas presents for our children are not really for our children. They are simply for us...At least I think that is the answer to the age old question, "Why do we do this every Christmas?". I was finishing up some Christmas shopping tonight...and suddenly was really worried I didn't have enough for one of the children. Let's think about this...they are living in a relatively nice house (ok, it's not grand but it is totally functional). They have food on the table whenever I remember to feed them (I'm kidding, they would never ever let me forget to feed them)...they have pretty cute clothes...they have coats...mittens...hats...and oh yeah TOYS OUT THE WAZOO...So...what am I worried about? I know they are going to look at each other and at me someday down the road and tell me I love one of them more than the other. Which ANY MOM out there knows is not true. I love each of my children with equal 100% of love...I would do anything for any one of them. Sure, there are times one of them has a softer spot than another, for various reasons...Oldest girl says some pretty funny things...she is hilarious, without even knowing she's funny...Oldest boy, so incredibly sweet LOVES to sit on my lap and just snuggle...Babies...well, those are gimmies, they are babies, like it or not, they are the babies of the family, ALL FOUR OF US DOTE ON THEM! Tonight, baby girl wanted to be held by her 5 year old brother...she doesn't look at him as a kid, she sees him as a caretaker. Where am I going with this? Not totally sure...all I know is I really could go down to the local hardware/appliance store and ask for a refridgerator box, paint it like a store front and my kids would play for HOURS! Last night, boy baby played with paper airplanes for no less than 45 minutes...not flying them, just moving them around in his hands...so is this Christmas gift giving out of hand...yes...I do believe it is. I want to rethink it. No, I'm not taking things back this year, I did pretty well with the limited presents...went VERY slightly overboard but not so much that I regret it...but next year...next year there is some serious thought going into ANY gift we choose to purchase for them...I'm not sure I'm making sense...we think about our gifts, a lot in fact...we gave away some gifts for needy families...was it enough, probably not...probably not even close...UGH! I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I have a REALLY close friend who is extremely thoughtful on a multitude of subjects, her children being one of them...hopefully she will read my thoughts and be my voice of reason no matter which way it should go...

Ok...think that is all that is in this little head for now...

Had the best time!

Went to Opry Mills today with my friend Jamie. She is so neat! She has adopted a child and I am so thoroughly interested in the entire spectrum of adoption...it was really interesting to talk to her today about it. She mentioned that a lot of adoptive parents don't want to be asked questions about the adoption...but her and her husband WANT the questions. It gives them the opportunity to educate people on adoption. WHAT A GREAT ATTITUDE/CHARACTER TRAIT! They are both so neat. Today, I think I drove her crazy with questions...but I am learning new things by asking, that is for sure!

I hope I always treat people with respect when talking to them about their children. I love, love, love adoption. Both the birth parents and the adoptive parents OBVIOUSLY love their child. They are giving the child life...and the opportunity to be raised in a home that will afford them parents who are ready to raise a child...for whatever reason a birth parent chooses adoption, all I have to say is I know people who have made different decisions...the people I know, regret their decisions...forever.

On a not so heavy note...we went to a Christmas program tonight. It was GREAT! We could hear our friend singing even in the large group of people...very talented crew!

Ok...guess I should try to go to sleep...I'm wired!!!!

Apparently there is a lot on my mind

I think I must be letting off some steam after taking my last final? PHEW! So the latest thought I had was myself at a grocery store. I just read a HILARIOUS blog about a lady (think we'll be friends) at the grocery store with two children...oh my goodness, I actually laughed out loud! SO FUNNY and so familiar!!

So my story normally goes something like this...(all in quotes..)"Tyler, please get the babies undone. BUT MOM, WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO DO THIS? Tyler, you are the older sister and I am trying to get the stroller out, Parker, why don't you help her, you get one baby and she can get the other? NO, I DON"T WANT TO DO THAT, I"VE GOT TO CARRY MY LEAPSTER! Parker, we are not taking our leapster into the grocery store, it is hard enough to keep track of all four of you! BUT MOM, CAN I TAKE THIS INSTEAD (stuffed dog). Yes Parker you can take the dog but you will be responsible for carrying it. I will not carry it. YES MA'AM. Landen, do you want front or back? FRA. Ok, front it is. Evyn, come here, get off the seat, DO NOT GO IN THE BACKSEAT YOUNG LADY...Do you want a spanking? NO. Then come here. let me buckle you in. NO, NO, NO. Yes Evyn you HAVE to be buckled in, do you want someone to steal you away from mommy? Ok then..."

And we are off...officially leaving the van to head into the store. WE HAVEN"T EVEN MADE IT INTO THE STORE!

"Tyler, do you want to push the stroller or the cart? THE CART. Okay, grab a cart and we can get moving. Parker, stay by me. Parker, stay by me, PARKER, GET OVER HERE...I said stay by me. Ok...we've got a list a mile long. Lets get started. MOM, CAN WE GET THE CARS BANDAIDS? Not today, it's not on the list and we don't need bandaids. BUT MOM, I DON"T HAVE ANY BANDAIDS IN MY CONTAINER...I NEED BANDAIDS...Not today, we can't get them today. BUT MOM. All right, that is 10 cents from your allowance for whining (this is pre-supernanny idea). NO, NO, NO, NO! That's 20 cents. I'M DONE. Good. Lets keep going. Soap, Daddy needs soap lets grab that. Landen, DON'T TOUCH the things on the shelf. "

Off to Groceries..."MOM, WE NEED MILK. I know Tyler, its on the list and I am getting it. MOM, WE NEED YOGURT. I know Parker. It's on the list. I am getting it. MOM, CAN WE GET _______ (interject anything you can think of I wouldn't have on the list). No, we will not be getting any junk food today, you know we are not snacking on anything unhealthy. BUT MOM. Please don't but mom me...I am not in the mood. Moving on guys."

We really do get through the grocery store, really! It's not horrible...truly, it is entertaining to look back on! :) The kicker is the next part of the story...

"they are so cute, are they all yours? YES, THEY ARE ALL MINE...WE TRIED FOR THREE AND GOT TWINS ON THE LAST ROUND. (REPEAT THIS CONVERSATION AT LEAST FOUR MORE TIMES MINIMUM). Twins, you are kidding. NOPE, NOT KIDDING...THEY ARE REALLY TWINS...NO, I DO NOT RUN A DAYCARE and NO, SCHOOL DID NOT GET OUT EARLY TODAY. NO, WE DIDN"T TAKE ANY FERTILITY DRUGS and NO, I DO NOT NEED ANYONE TO BLESS MY HEART. I am a mom that is just like anyone else's mom. Read other blogs, EVERYONE who is a mother knows you do what you have to do. I now know I could do this with more children. I really could...WON'T...but could. I truly enjoy having my children. They are beautiful...for the most part, KIND...loving children. I am thrilled to be their mom. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me and I don't want anyone to think I am a super mom...I am not a supermom...I am simply a mom of four children who is surviving the best way she knows how.

Oh, and while we are on the subject of people that drive you nuts in public...listen to this one...

Boy Baby PITCHING A FIT in the middle of a Sam's Club in Missouri. I am watching from about 4 feet away, playing the "FINE, PITCH YOUR FIT BUT I'M NOT WATCHING" while watching routine...this lady walks by and says "poor baby...I have some gum, do you want to try that....?" YES LADY, LET ME GIVE MY SCREAMING CHILD A PIECE OF GUM SO HE CAN STOP CRYING AND THEN THE NEXT TIME HE DOESN'T GET HIS WAY, I WILL JUST BRIBE HIM INTO IT BECAUSE NOW HE KNOWS IF HE PITCHES A BIG ENOUGH FIT, HE WILL BE REWARDED WITH SOME FORM OF SWEET. WOW, its a wonder these people had children that are not still living at home? (did I say that out loud?).

Ok...I think I am ready to go to bed now. But to be honest, THOROUGHLY ENJOYING THIS BLOGGING THING...GETS MY THOUGHTS OUT OF MY HEAD!

On my mind

Recently some friends of ours from our old church lost their son...he was also the spouse of a beautiful woman and father to their 6 month old child...it made me start to think A LOT...and sadly enough, now I am sitting here watching the last season of Alias and Vaughn just died...my heart hurts.

I don't mean to be morbid. I really don't but I cannot, absolutely CANNOT imagine living my life without my spouse...He drives me crazy, he really does. He is frustrating...sometimes annoying... But to live my daily life, wake up without him, not talk to him fourteen times throughout the day, not see his dirty clothes lying all over the bedroom...go to bed without him needing the bed to be fixed perfectly...I can't imagine...I have no idea what this woman is going through...I do know I don't ever want to know. I do know that even thinking about it is so hard. I know God has a will for my life. I know this...logically...sometimes even emotionally. I hope I continue to pray for this family. I hope I never forget they need our love and support. I hope they feel God's precious love for them...and I hope I learn to grow with God daily so I can be as strong and faithful as she has been through her loss.

It's been a long time

Since I would accept a C in a class...but for this BIOLOGY class...I would be UNBELIEVABLY THRILLED!! A C would mean I did better than I expected. It is totally my fault...I did not dedicate enough time to this class...so a C would be a dream. Now if I don't get an A in my other class, I will be forever saddened. I REALLY will miss my professor in that class, he is so thought provoking and so interested in our becoming TRUE teachers instead of people that stand in front of a class.

My desire to be a teacher has not diminshed at all...in fact, it grows daily. I am learning so much in my education classes, I am learning how to teach my own children more productively. How to encourage them and not knock them down. Things at home have been been MUCH better this semester. It's strange. Good...strange...but strange nonetheless.

Ok...going to watch House, I love this show, love it!!!

Forgot to Mention

We went to my in-laws this past weekend and Jesse's mom and I worked on my latest project...a Christmas Wreath. It was supposed to be an ornament wreath to go on my front door...yeah, it's 2 feet in diameter and has to go above the mantle...too heavy for the front door, HA! I love it! It's totally different...VERY bold.

Also got my Christmas present from Jesse's parents...it's this gorgeous creation I asked his dad to build...it's 5 squares 14" square each...black to hang on my RED wall to put my WHITE dishes in. I am so excited. Jesse's dad told us NOT to hang it...hmmmmm wonder what he's worried about? Oh, might be the MILLIONS of holes in the walls because things keep FALLING off of them? Oh...this also means I have to repaint the wall before they come this weekend...add it to the list.

Kids are ready for finals to be over

So I am sure most students are ready for finals to be over, I know I am. But I was thinking today my kids sure can't wait either. First I lock myself in our bedroom last night to finish papers that should have been finished months ago and then today I tell eldest boy I can't let him play in the family room during "nap" time because Mommy hasn't finished her other project that is due tonight and still hasn't been finished. GOOD EXAMPLE MOM!! Ha!

I was reading a friend of mine's blog and she was talking about Christmas spirit and now I am properly admonished...I went to Linen's N Things today and was there at 9am...that is the time they open...instead of calmly waiting until they opened their door, I managed to pitch a mini temper tantrum and decide when the woman DID open the door, I wasnt' going to be nice to her...Ok...so I did smile at her and was kind of nice...but I wasn't nice in my heart...TALK ABOUT CRUDDY CHRISTMAS SPIRIT. I would like to use the excuse I had my three smallest children with me (one of which was REALLY grumpy) but how can someone see my Christlike spirit if I don't have one? Why would ANYONE want to be a Christian if this is the way they act?

We have decided to change the way we are doing our Sunday night worship. Normally we go to the Church building and enjoy worship with other Christians at Church...but the more we think about things and pray about things and FINALLY discuss things together, we are figuring out, the Church is not a building...it's the people. SO our decision has come with LOTS of talking, which is so great for us...and we have decided Sunday evenings are going to be family worship time. We will do a family worship, class for all 6 of us, where there is a lesson and everything at 4pm...then after the kids go to bed, a couple of our friends are going to come over and we are going to do a grown-up Bible study. I am so totally looking forward to this. It has been long in coming, we have needed to do something as a family as well as a couple. It was all prompted by one of the guys from Church asking us to lead a small group at our home or wherever. We talked about it and this is what we came up with instead. We decided we needed to make sure our family was growing as Christians...our children walking with the Lord and not worry about what everyone else is doing right now. We are NOT going to forsake the Church, we love our Church, they are amazing. We are being fed and loved...BIBLICALLY which is so fun! And we want that to continue and for our children to figure out we are the first place they should be able to go when they have a Biblical question. That is going to take some serious work on our part. But I do believe we are up for the challenge. We both LOVE GOD...now we are learning how to make it show for our children.

Tomorrow is BIOLOGY final...BLAH BLAH BLAH! I can't stand Biology. Pray for me.

Did I mention?

I fell asleep for a few minutes this morning on the couch...and BOY BABY managed to find a sharpie and draw all over eldest child's BIBLE! So it could have gone either way, she could have been angry he had access to a sharpie...or she could realize she left her BIBLE out where a baby could get ahold of it...she handled herself well and has plans to purchase her own replacement Bible when she saves enough money. GOOD JOB KIDDO!!! I was really proud of her! Not so much with myself...WHAT WAS A SHARPIE DOING ACCESSABLE TO A TWO YEAR OLD!?????

Scholastic Warehouse...WHOOO HOOO!

So I have been told for about a year and a half I needed to go to the Scholastic Warehouse sale...I have thought about going...planned on going...forgotten to go...about 4 times...typical, I generally forget someone is planning on coming to my house within about 30 seconds of the phone conversation. Anyway, I finally decided today was the day. I was GOING to this scholastic warehouse sale. WOWOWOWOWOWOWOW! That was seriously amazing! They had the same books you see at scholastic book fairs and MORE and they are 50% off the price at the book fair! HA!

So Jesse is debating whether or not to quit working at Russell and just work for Pack's towing. He LOVES towing and Scotty Pack is one amazing human being...so really, it's just a matter of adjusting to the idea of TOTALLY WEIRD hours...and adjusting to the TRULY commission based job. However, we both think it will work itself out. We've been praying about it and we are confident God will show us what we are supposed to do. We are both SURE He doesn't want Jesse working two jobs for much longer...we are mainly wanting to get through Christmas because he has a week paid vacation coming up and we don't want to lose that! So if you're reading this, please pray for us to make the decision God wants for us...not that we want for ourselves...we sure don't know what we are doing!

I'm going to talk to Jesse for a few minutes...he's actually home! :)

Hangin Out

Not much going on in the Cosby home...the boy baby has croup and that makes me nervous for tonight, it's always worse during the night. The girl baby is potty training so well...she is so adorable...potty mommy, potty mommy!! The other day, she had a yucky accident in her pants and so I told her we didn't do that in our pants...she looked at me like she was 17 years old and said "OKAY". It was unbelievable! I was like, HELLOOOO...you are two!

Let's see, what else is going on...The eldest and I went to Nashville Children's Theatre and saw "SCHOOLHOUSE ROCKS". It was so awesome, I was so impressed! I would really like to take the other children back but not sure if the babies could handle it.

Taught my first official Faith Boulevard tonight at Church. It was so interesting to hear how 4th graders feel about serving other people...it was truly a little sad...they look at serving someone else as a horrible thing. I can't believe this but I was shocked. So I think by the end of this, they might actually understand why we need to serve others. It was neat to watch them look up service in the Bible Concordance and look up the Bible verses. I do believe I am going to gain more out of this class than the children...

Life...

We went to a special Christmas Dinner tonight at Church...it's for kids who are incarcerated...I'm not sure of the details, all I know is we ate with one child...he was 14 years old and just as sweet as can be...it's hard to believe he is capable of anything but kindness...He was polite, respectful, etc. He has never known anything but people that use cuss words to converse with him. He hasn't been loved like you would think a child would be loved...makes me think I am not doing things right at home. I wonderf if my kids REALLY know I love them. I don't want to JUST keep them from the life this child has been involved in...I want them to be LOVED and know they are capable of ANYTHING...I want them to achieve greatness with Christ. I don't want them to go to Church because Jesse and I take them...I want them to go because they love the Lord. I don't want them to marry someone because they think they are supposed to get married...I want them to marry because they can't live their lives to the fullest without that special someone. I want to be their educator...not just this tyrant that tells them where to go and what to do and what time to do it...So that is my New Years Resolution a month early...I'm going to work on my life to therefore improve my children's lives. That is me in a nutshell tonight...perplexing...

Heading to the school

I'm going up to the school today to help with a SOLDIER CHRISTMAS project! That is exciting. I can't imagine what these families are going through not being together. I know, TRULY know it's the right thing for them...they chose their profession. It doesn't mean it's any easier to be away from family during the holidays. Pray for them...

Ever notice how this time of year sneaks up on you?

So I totally think I am on the ball with things...I am paying things on time, doing what I am supposed to be doing and then I feel like all I do is for craziness because my terrible habits catch up to me...I HAVE TO START SAVING MONEY INSTEAD OF SPENDING IT...I have to start becoming frugal. That is my goal for this year. That is one of two New Years resolutions...the other, to work on my relationship with Christ...He is my rock, I just have to figure out how to lean on Him...not myself.

I'm sitting here relaxing, watching television tonight...should be doing a million other things...but I'm not, ha! Church tonight was really kind of interesting...I'm starting to attend the High School service on Wednesday night, to be an adult presence in the room with a bunch of other adults...it was amazing! The praise was unbelievable...I was just goosebumpy listening to the kids just lift their voices to God. It was beautiful. Then...I ended up teaching my girl's class. Wow, nothing like being thrown into a class full of crazy kids with NOTHING...I had lent my Bible to my daughter and didn't have anything to look at to even pick something...so I decided to flip through a random book and decided to teach them about Isaiah the prophet and the time he was told about the coming Messiah. Have you ever thought about it? How amazing is it that Isaiah was told about Jesus before Mary was even born? How can you deny that Christ is the Messiah? Seriously? I guess I've always thought people were strange that deny that Christ is the Messiah...I know some religons believe the Messiah has not come yet...some believe He was just a prophet...WOW. How strange to believe this? I think it is so amazing...Mary, not born, Jesus, not conceived, and Isaiah was told they were coming. WOWOWOW... So that is what I did tonight...now I am just trying to stay awake to see Jesse when he gets home...he's so good to us. He came to Church tonight for a few minutes and got to walk us out to the car and then headed back to work. I love him...