So some things are happening over here...

We are looking into a few new things in our world...one of which is the information and preliminary application for adoption...we are not sure how this will work but details are here:

www.cosbyfamily.wordpress.com

Seriously Folks....

I've got a pretty nifty site over at wordpress! Come visit! www.cosbyfamily.wordpress.com

Moving

I've joined the masses...check out our new site and PLEASE blogline me!

www.cosbyfamily.wordpress.com

Ok...I'm not so good at this

I was doing pretty well with no television last night...until about 1am...when I COULDN"T GO TO SLEEP! So I put a dvd into my computer and promptly fell asleep...I'm pathetic...

We did really well today until lunchtime...when we put in Dora. This is CONSIDERABLY better than before but still, what is my problem? I am starting back to exercising tomorrow morning...maybe that will help a little? UGH!

GOOD READ

I just started and finished "What Would Jesus Do" by Garrett Sheldon with Deborah Morris today! It was amazing and I have a lot to say about it...but right now I am trying convince myself I can go to sleep without having the television on...that has been my crutch for 15 years!!!!! I promise I set timers...but we are trying to go without television...I think I might hate it the most!!!

More random thoughts...

There are a couple of things I am worried about: My husband's grandmother is in a cult. I know that sounds completely bizarre...but it's true. She believes she is doing the right thing by herself...she attends regular "meetings"...she has the leader of this "religion" in a framed picture in her house. I am seriously concerned. I am also concerned about my brother and sister-in-law. I know they are amazing people...but I am scared for them...I know they believe they are doing things the right way...my sister-in-law believes in psychic (spelling???)...and various other things...I know they both think I am crazy for believing the Bible is infallible. I know they do...I know they believe the Bible was written by men therefore there are holes...I disagree. I wish I could explain it to them and have them understand where I am coming from. I can't even talk to them about it because they are so not open to hearing. I know the Bible says "those who have ears let them hear"...


TOTAL TOPIC CHANGE: I have been listening to "Shepherding a Child's Heart" on cd and THORUOUGHLY enjoying it. The book is VERY dry but full of TOTALLY interesting things...I was listening tonight about Proverbs. I think I am going to do some serious studying of Proverbs so I can really help my children to be the people God wants them to be...I want them to see how I act/speak/treat others...I have so much more to say but can't remember any of it...probably because it's 11:38pm...HA! :)

Sigh...

I love my life. I have an amazing Savior...an amazing husband...awesome kids...beautiful house...I am going to be content where I am. Just happy to be me...

Although...I am a bit sad about school starting back. My oldest boy starts kindergarten and my oldest girl starts 3rd grade...ok...sad about that but content with everything else ;)

Check this out!

This is so thought provoking...reminds me of where I want to be versus where I am. I feel like Paul in Romans...I do things I do not want to do and yet I know I don't want to do them...I just want to be good...

Ramblings of a Tired Mom

Ok...it has been an amazing week for a variety of reasons...so I am hoping I can put into words what is going on in my head and heart...especially considering I am a tired little chica!!!

I guess I am going to have to bullet this so I can try to make sense of things:

1. Youngest boy has been potty trained by my in-laws! They have already reached a special place in my heart after a difficult start and they are awesome...but this takes the cake!!! I called and told my MIL she was my hero...to which she replied "You can never get mad at me again...". I am not sure she was kidding, ha ha! They really area amazing! Took them 5 days and the boy is POTTY-TRAINED!!!!! WOWOWOW...they used pennies by the way...nothing like a bit of cash to make a kid do something.

2. We ran a fireworks tent again this year. This makes year 3 of us running one and year 4 of us being exposed to them...they are TOO much fun! This year was exceptionally fun due to my parents flying in from Texas and of course my brother and sister in law running it with us again. It was awesome! Actually, it was INSANE and awesome all at the same time. Needless to say, I have been a SLUG when it comes to anything around my house...nothing like a little catch-up after a long time of no sleep...

3. The simpler life is a must in my world. I am trying to find the best way to handle EVERYTHING...from kids rooms, to my things to the garage to the yard to PTO to school...just a lot of things going on in my head. I know I want things to be as simple as they were the couple of weeks before the fireworks tent. I am about to start reading the book "Boundaries" in the hopes I will attain a new level of understanding about myself to encourage myself to truly simplify.

4. Thoughts of moving have crept up. I am thinking my parents have done a major diservice to my sister and myself...somehow Ben managed to escape the desire to move. Good thing is that my husband is not a mover at all or my poor children would be moved every 3 years!!! Not only that but a part of me is realizing I could easily become someone who runs away when she is sad...or frustrated or whatever emotion I am not enjoying at the moment. Having a grounded husband definitely helps me deal with my own emotions when I should be dealing instead of leaving.

5. Visited our old church tonight. Still working through these emotions. I was amazing to see everyone and to just be able to be around them and enjoy them. Don't get me wrong, I love our church for a variety of reasons...but I miss the smallness of our old church...the people are truly loving and kind and they love us for us...not sure where my emotions on this one will take us but I am guessing it is God's plan for me to have these emotions.

6. I can feel a pull towards God. Maybe that sounds crazy but I can. I can feel myself being guided to do something about my relationship with Him. Now it is up to me to do something about it. This fits into my simpler life category...maybe I shouldn't have bulleted it, ha! :)

7. My parents took us to IHOP yesterday for breakfast. That place is so dirty...SO dirty. I kept asking myself WHY DO WE EAT HERE??? Then the food came, YUMMY! Enough said.

8. I am so sleepy and I need to go visit with my husband...did I mention we had an awesome fireworks show tonight, it was AWESOME! Those husbands can sure blow some stuff up! They had fun doing it, I do believe!!!

Good night...and thanks for reading my randomness.


TOTALLY FORGOT TO WRITE THIS BUT TOTALLY DON'T WANT TO FORGET:

Twins got two presents from my sister for their birthday...golf clubs with little portable golf holes and tattoos. So youngest girl comes up to me yesterday and requests a "tootat". I busted out laughing and told her of course she could have a "tootat". So adorable!!!

My Name

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 6 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Perspective

Lately, and seemingly too often, I worry. I worry about stupid things...not stupid things...random things...I simply worry. I have posted about things that bother me ALL the time...now I want to share what I am learning about myself...

1. God loves me. God loves me where I am and where I am going. He wants me to be myself...and He wants me to improve myself. This is not to say God wants me to stay stagnant, that is not it at all, He wants me to change EVERYDAY! THAT BEING SAID, HE LOVES ME REGARDLESS!!!

2. My family is amazing! I am learning so much about the kids this summer. They are awesome! I am learning you don't have to go anywhere to have fun. We have had a great summer already by just being at home. The kids love playing outside, they love riding their bikes, playing on the waterslide, swinging on the swings...just being. It is awesome!!! AWESOME and rejuvinating. Actually, it's empowering to know I don't have to do MORE to have MORE...does that make sense?

3. I am married to an AWESOME man. He is willing to do anything to take care of our family. He loves me no matter what. He truly doesn't care that I haven't lost the baby weight...('tis true...). He loves me in spite of my depression issues...He loves me even when I have PMS. WOW! :)

4. I love my friends...I truly love my friends. They are hilarious, fun, crazy, NORMAL and struggle with their own stuff...they aren't perfect. I love them...and I love knowing I am ok with them and without them. Does that make any sense? I love that I can be real with them and really STINK...and they will love me through it. That is remarkable in a friendship...BLESSED!

Mary J. Blige (I don't know but I think she might be a Believer COOOOLLL) just said it: You can't make other people responsible for your happiness...TOTALLY TRUE! I love it. I am so thankful God has put people in my life to show me how to trust Him. I am so blessed to have been surrounded with awesome people...Thank you God...

Youngest girl just came in here after a nap and said "it 8:40 I wake up" of course she has no idea how to tell time...too funnny! :) I am going to spend some snuggle time with the baby! :0)

MY NEW MANTRA....NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES

"It is no bad thing to celebrate the simple life" Bilbo Baggins (no, I do not know who Bilbo is...but I sure would like to meet him!). This is a quote I found at Amy W's Blog...I do believe I like this blogger already!!!

Thinking about God's plan...

I was just reading a blog (boy do I have to stop doing that, it is WAY to much fun)...and I had an epiphany of sorts...

5 years ago in January, Hubby and I realized it was time to move. Not change houses, MOVE TO ANOTHER STATE. We wanted to save our marriage and protect our family from falling apart. So we researched the Nashville area (as this was as far North as I could convince Hubby to move) and Hubby sent his resume to EVERY dealership and mechanic job in the entire Nashville and surrounding areas. SERIOUSLY, EVERYWHERE...Goodletsville, Hendersonville, Cookeville, Nashville, Smryna, Antioch, you name it, he sent it out. Hubby got one job offer. One. This is from 50 (at least) resumes. Now, at the time, I couldn't figure out why this was the only offer...I thought maybe this area was not interested in good mechanics.

Moving on, it's February and we are trying to find a place to live. We begin our search by the interstate...we check out about 20 different apartment complexes in about 3 towns/cities...and then we decide on an apartment right back where we started...

Moving on...it's 7 months later, we have lived in the apartment for 5 months and are miserable...absolutely miserable...we attend a church we love, we have great friends but we are hating our apartment...so we start looking for a house...my poor realtor...she took me to no less than 20 houses. The first one on the street we eneded up buying on. HA! No, we did not purchase the first house we looked at, it was just on the same street...

Moving on...We've lived in our house for almost 5 years. It is the perfect house for us right now. It has expandable space (which we are working on), it is in a great area, very close to our school...our friends are close by. We attend a different church than at the beginning of our move but we are more in love with God than we were before...we are stronger than we were...we are learning more than we've ever learned before...I say we, Hubby is pretty nifty...I am the one that needed the "learning"...it's working...

Some might call this coincidence. I believe God put us where He wanted us. We are learning to be content where we are. To be happy with the here and now. I am learning I want it simpler. I want to go through my house and take the garbage bag with me. This is what God has planned for us...and I want to say Thank you God...You knew what You were doing all along...

2nd burning question of the day

Is it smarter (economically and sanitily...ok, so not a word but you get my drift) to do small loads of laundry every day or wait until it piles up to a larger load in a few days? I am finding I can keep it up if I do a bunch of small loads but I am concerned for my water bill? Any suggestions?

HELP

Why did my pictures load sideways? Does anyone know???

The picture of summer

This is summer at our house...SO LOVED yesterday! It was awesome! I do believe hubby had a great time, he got to play on the waterslide and let the kids ride bikes...it was a great day! Oh, and I cooked TWICE! That is remarkable! :)

Messing around online

Tonight, I am being lazy...got the kids to bed (albeit a little later than usual) and decided to watch a movie with the hubby...now, watching a movie with me is a little different than with most people, I cannot watch a movie and do nothing else (you would think I would ALWAYS have all of my clothes folded, eh)? Tonight is no different, I am playing on the computer while watching the movie.

I love to read Shannon's Works for Me Wednesday posts. They are the most fun to go through and I have gotten a gazillion great ideas from her linky people. The latest post I just read was to fully rely on God. How incredible! After just discussing my "feelings" in my last post...it seems God really does look out for me ;).

I am determined to make a point to keep my MIND, SOUL, HEART, STRENGTH on God. He is my Deliverer. Thanks Shannon for the great idea of WFMW!!!

On a completely different note...we went to a birthday party today at Flicka's house, a pool party. It was a blast!!! The kids raced their battery powered cars (Lightening McQueen was the theme) and then ate a DELECTIBLE cake (Flicka makes the BEST cake and icing)...then the kids got to play in the pool. After a while, I got out of the pool and wasn't paying much attention to what was going on in the pool (hubby was still in there with the kids)...and didn't hear youngest girl calling for me and then when I did hear her, I didn't respond very quickly (you would think I had learned my lesson at the frozen yogurt store...which might be another story for another time)...and she proceeded to clear the pool in the worst way. I am thoroughly embarrassed (yes, I know it could have happened to ANYONE's child...BUT IT WAS MINE!)...and now I am regreting not pulling her out quickly so I could get her to the restroom in a timely manner...or at LEAST OUT OF THE POOL...So there you go...Flicka's SIL didn't know what had happened and quickly noted the time (party over time) and said "WOW, you people must really make a big deal out of the 4 o'clock thing". Ha! I am still a little (trying not to be a lot) upset and trying to work through it...sigh...it's back to swim diapers for the squirt.

I feel:

I have been thinking a lot lately...about what I keep saying "I feel...". That seems to be the mantra I have been giving recently and I am wondering if I am taking it to an extreme.

When I read the Bible (which I don't do enough of AT ALL) I don't get the impression God wants me to "feel" a certain way. Does this make ANY sense? I am wondering what emotion God wants to exude from me. I want to find the emotion God desires for me. I don't want to go through life saying "I feel _____". I want to go through life sharing God's promises and God's desires for myself and my family. This is my latest goal for myself.

So I wish I knew what caused this:

But I am still awake. It is 12:34am Saturday morning. My kids will be up soon. They will probably want to eat something...which requires my getting up too. They might appreciate some attention, which I will want to give them. You might think this requires sleep...apparently not.

On another note...I really feel good today. I am feeling like I am moving in the direction God wants me to move...because you know, it is ALL ABOUT ME...seriously though, I am thinking I am moving finally, no longer stagnant. Today, the verse I kept "hearing" in my head was "Be still and know that I am God" Psalms 46:10. WOW! If I can just keep this going...I might be able to work on my relationship with Christ. He is SO AWESOME!!! :)

So Oprah Might have something going

I Tivo Oprah every day and sometimes I watch them (some of them I choose to delete)...I watched one recently that spoke of improving your marriage...The way the people decided to work on their marriage is a rather interesting one that I am attempting to adhere to...we'll see how it goes.

On another note, I am praying to improve my self-esteem. It seems I am constantly YELLING (inside myself) at the devil to leave me alone...he seems to have a field day with my relationships and the way I feel in general. I hope I can figure this out...well actually, I cannot figure this out...only God can make me see how important to Him I really am...by having the self-esteem I have...I am all but telling God He does bad work. Don't get me wrong, I believe I need to work on this...but I know God doesn't make mistakes...now I just wish I could figure out how to make my emotions a NON-MISTAKE...

Don't Forget to Remember This!

So tonight...I am attempting a new discipline idea...it is a great one (remembering of course that lots of ideas are great, implementing them is another story)...The book was recommended to me by a counselor and it is called "Parenting With Love and Logic"...by Faye & Cline...ok...anyway, it is a method of teaching personal responsibility. Here's the scenario: Youngest Boy doesn't want his pillow turned a certain way so I flip it over while saying "Son, I am not sure you are going to want to sleep on this side because the print may be a little rough"...he takes this to an extreme and decides he doesn't want this pillow case at all and I am to get him a new one...NO WAY BUCKO! I hold my ground and go for the prize in reasoning with a 3 year old: "Son, you have two choices, you can either sleep with this pillow on the other side or you can sleep without a pillow." He chose to scream and yell at me...so I chose for him, pillow gone. Now its not like I am torturing him, there are plenty of nights I get rid of my own pillow for comfort. Ok...moving on 30 minutes...I walk in the bedroom for youngest girl discipline (kicking her bed...) and tuck her back in, she REFUSES a pillow...because Youngest boy doesn't have one...WOW! That was sweet...I hope they always feel this way about each other!!!

Went camping this past weekend...more on that later, IT WAS AWESOME and reminded me I want to live a simpler life. I am not sure God meant for us to be so insanely busy...?

I always find these great websites

Now I just hope I use them a little more! This one is so great! I got it from Shannon at Rocks in my Dryer and it is so cool! Enjoy Kids4Truth.

Curious...

Does anyone out there battle with feeling pathetic because they get depressed? I mean here I have a WONDERFUL home...fabulous children, handsome husband...too many clothes (seriously)...AMAZING friends...wonderful extended family...NOTHING IS WRONG...have seen what WRONG looks like but not directly to me...and I am depressed. Not the, oh, I'm kinda in a bad mood depressed...more like the I don't want to fold the laundry depressed (not the normal I don't want to fold the laundry)...the I want to sleep all day depressed...the I HAVE NO PATIENCE WITH MY CHILDREN AND DIDN"T PRAY FOR PATIENCE depressed...the I am not sure what to do to get out of this depressed...

I have talked to someone before and while it wasn't overly helpful, it wasn't bad...maybe that is what I need? I just want to know why my nuerons are FAILING ME. I have seen a close friend of mine go through a HORRIBLE experience...I have read about horrible experiences from other bloggers...WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I know I am loved by My Savior. I know He is there for me...why can't I just wrap my arms around that and forget this yucky feeling?? Am I truly losing it????

WOW...Good Post Shannon!!!

Shannon sure has a good post here...what are we going to do to make this better????

Too Funny

Your Linguistic Profile:

60% General American English 15% Dixie 10% Upper Midwestern 5% Midwestern 5% Yankee

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Thank you for finally saying something truthful!

Public, media overreacted on Scales 'prank'


To the editor,

If you were looking for truth, please see the school's Web site, through murfreesborocityschools.net, where a complete and truthful press release is on the Scales Web site.
ADVERTISEMENT


After reading your article and skimming through your "responding posts" to the drama now unfolding at Scales, I was more than shaking my head at some of the responses that your hot-headed readers said and your classless paper that shared them. Shame to those barking and demanding that heads must roll, jobs taken away and charges of terrorism be brought up!

The name of the game is sensationalism. "If it bleeds, it leads." The press release can easily dispel any of the rumors without the "I'm-gonna-go-picket-outside-the-school-on-Monday" overreactions.

What was a pretty good idea as a real-life learning experience (code red) has been horribly, maliciously and cantankerously misconstrued for the real-life "ratings" of most major television stations, newspapers, and yes, those women and men we know who must put their two cents in and clearly create a commotion where there was once little if any. The words "overreacting, overreaching, boredom, and just plain putrid and pathetic journalism" can't fully cover it all.

The faculty and staff of Scales Elementary are, without a doubt, some of the finest men and women in our area. I know each of them and I am proud that all of my three children attend. All of these men and women have bent over backward to help my children and yes, your children time and time again. They serve selflessly and joyfully.

Are any one of them perfect among us? No. Could this event been handled differently? Yes. And I am sure they will in the future. I would like to see those with such hateful comments regarding these educators be held to the same standards that you seem to so easily create for them.

Yes, these educators sculpt and model a child into adulthood and we, as parents, hope they do so with education and well-taught lessons. However, to those of you who are quick to have a scathing opinion without much, if any, personal research, I say this: Just what do you think your child learns from you while you rant, judge or vastly overreact to things you know so little of?

Jenny McKee

Jake Branch Road

Beechgrove

How do you help a friends heart...

When it breaks for reasons you can do nothing about? How do you help your own heart when it grieves right alongside? How do you make people see the truth when all they want to see are lies? How do you make what has become so wrong become right?

My strength is My Lord and Savior. No matter what goes on, I know I will see good coming out of this bad...I just wish I had 20/20 vision right now...

We are blessed

Beyond measure...I thank God for the friendships He has bestowed on our family. I thank Him for our family...WOW, they are pretty nifty...we are blessed. Thank You for our gifts Lord, please help me never to take them for granted and to always know You are the reason we are here.

What is the deal?

I am curious as to why people who claim to know someone suddenly decide that person can do something completely out of character and be someone they aren't? Does that make any sense? How can someone claim to be someones friend...know their personality...know what their belief system and moral values are...and claim to care about them...and turn on them at the drop of a hat. How can you let the media make your case for you? How can you allow your own knowledge be challenged by people who couldn't care less about your or anyone they are reporting about?

I hope I follow through with my heart. I hope I treat people the way I want to be treated. I hope I show my friends and family the love and respect and loyalty they deserve...don't get me wrong, if someone does something wrong, I believe in the truth...the truth is what I believe in...not some bogus media crap...I'm a little disenchanted with my own little world...*sigh*

Does it ever amaze you...

How quickly we judge people? How quickly we assume the worst about someone we don't know? How easy it is to believe the media? This weekend has been a lesson for my family. We are no longer going to watch our sensationalized news and read our sensationalized newspapers without a bit of education. If something is negative, we are going to assume the best about it until we KNOW otherwise. Individuals deserve the right to be treated with respect. If someone makes a mistake, and is remorseful, they deserve to be heard. It is a sad world we live in where we have to watch EVERYTHING we say or do and no one stands up for the good guys...

Prayer

I know God is in Control.  We have an AWESOME GOD!  For that reason, I am able to believe in Prayer...

I've been thinking...

I know, scary thought...but I was listening to something the other day and it really caught my attention...Everyone who believes in a "religion" and follows that particular religion REALLY believes they are right. I know we all know this but have you really thought about it?

I was thinking about it today because a friend of my oldest girl's had her 'first communion' today. I am not sure exactly what all of this means to a Catholic family...I don't think my child is ready to accept communion. She knows Jesus died on the cross for her. She knows He has saved her from her sins. But at 8 years old, I am not sure she can REALLY comprehend this information. I wonder what she thinks about all of this...She asked me why we don't have a 'first communion'. Luckily, all I had to say was we weren't Catholic and that was enough for right now. There are many more conversations to be had.

That being said, our friends believe they are doing the right thing by their children. This goes for our mormon friends. They believe they are raising their children in such a way to get them to Heaven. I TOTALLY disagree. I believe they have no other way to get to Heaven than through Jesus the Christ. There is no other way. Not for ANYONE. Does this mean we are raising our children to read the Bible and learn about Jesus the SON OF GOD? ABSOLUTELY! But think about it...REALLY think about it...everyone else believes they are correct also. WOW.

Now, what to do with this information? Prayer. That is one thing I can bank on...Prayer and Faith...how to talk to other 'religions'...I hope to learn how to do this...but I am not ready to throw my 8 year old to the wolves...so we will take this one slowly.

As for tonight, it has been a night of MASSIVE PRAYER...so on that note...I am going to get back to Praying...because I have a Father in Heaven who answers prayer!!!

Letterboxing!

Have any of you ever heard of Letterboxing? I am so excited to start this with my kids! WHOO HOO!!! :0)

Not spending

I've been reading Bye Bye Buy a lot lately and she is not only HILARIOUS...but really good at saving her money. I am truly impressed. I am about to attempt her idea on a MUCH smaller scale...even smaller than Musings of a Housewife did from January to March. I am going to attempt to purchase only laundry/cleaning items and food for 2 (that's two) months. That is from May 12, 2007 to July 12, 2007. I am not sure I can do this for the entire two months due to some firework tent issues but I am going to do the best I can. Maybe I should make it a much less lofty goal of one month so I don't beat myself up over the whole fireworks tent thing?? Then again, we might not even get a fireworks tent this year so who am I kidding? I can do this. WOW, writing this out loud makes it seem much longer than it probably would had I said I am going to have sextuplets in two months? Then I would be huge and no, that wouldn't work either, that would drag as well...ok, someone help, what is a good example.

Let me lay out my plan:

1. Stay home more. I can accomplish many a goal by staying at my house. It is amazing how quickly a house can be cleaned when you are actually at the house to clean it.

2. AVOID YARD SALES. This may be a form of Chinese water torture to me but I can do it.

3. Goodwill is not allowed to be visited. There will be no "I've just got to get ______" for the two months...sad days.

4. I believe this will have an impact on a multitude of relationships in my life...with God, Husband, Children, Friends...SELF!!

Ok..4 goals. Those are not too hard. All Right, so they are really hard for me, but I can do it!!!!

Never been tagged before...I'm so there :)

Moto Mom tagged me for this MeMe

Here are the rules: Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. You need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog!

1. I am a compulsive person. I can't go to the store and buy one book. (trust me when I say this is just an example...it could be anything). I can be sent to the store for one children's book or workbook and come home with 7. You can never have to many (insert item of choice here)!

2. I have to wet both hands before I dry them. Yes, normally I wash both hands, for 26 seconds while saying the alphabet and scrubbing each individual fingernail...but I digress...I mean when I brush my teeth or randomly/accidently get a hand wet, I HAVE to wet the other hand before drying it...

3. I hate the dark. To go to our neighbors behind our house, I can walk for a few feet but then I have to take off at a dead run because I think someone is going to jump out of between our fences. It is not a normal fear, it is almost dibilating...my heart races and I start to freak out.

4. I HATE wearing pajama bottoms to bed. They drive me crazy! I can't stand to have anything tangled up around my legs...I can try to sleep in them but eventually get angry and have to take them off. (PROMISE THERE IS A LONG SHIRT ON OVER THEM!!!)

5. I love my blinds open even in the evening or at night. NOT WHEN IT"S BEDTIME...but while we are hanging out in the family room, I like to see what is going on outside. I do believe this makes me just downright NOSY!!!!

6. I cannot stand in a checkout line without finding something to talk about with someone. Even if they do not look like they want to talk to me, I find something to mention to them about anything. It really doesn't make a difference what starts the conversation but I always say something...

7. I am terrible at finishing projects. Ok...maybe that is not weird...just annoying. I have a bathroom I started painting on Sunday...it is officially ALMOST Thursday and it is not finished. I do realize I have not been home to do this...but this is not a first. I have LOTS of great ideas...not if I could just get someone to give me a push to finish them! Ok....Flicka...you are officially hired! ;)

Ok...who do I want to tag???? I guess I will tag: Jamie, Rachel, Ginger, Stephanie, Amanda, Crystal & Natasha.

Husbands...

So a funny thing to say would be "Can't live with em, can't live without 'em..." but that is not where I was going :)

I have been GRIPEY at my husband. Annoyed with the way he does X annoyed with the way he does Y...just basically annoyed...and of course, in my world, when you are annoyed, you nag. Isn't that what you are supposed to do, uh, DUH PROVERBS 31 LADY!!!! Anyway...today, I am visiting with Flicka and her children are playing with my children and all is well in our little world after I have driven my husband insane with nagging. All of a sudden, I glance up and hear this weed-eater noise...behind FLICKA"S house! My husband (remember, I have nagged all day about various things...this not being one of them)...is weed eating Flicka's backyard. WOW! I didn't ask him to do it, Flicka would NEVER ask him to do it...and yet, my husband saw a need and filled it.

Why am I saying this? Because I have decided I need to work on ME...and let him BE! He is a great husband and loves us all very much. He loves his kids...me, our friends and our families. I need to be thankful and just leave the other things to God. I need to remove the speck before I complain about the plank!!!!!!

First Observation Day

I had my first observation day at school was today. I am LOVING the observation. It is amazing to watch these kids, the interaction with the teachers...it is truly awesome!

That being said, I HATED being away from the kids...MY KIDS...my Blessings from my Heavenly Father. So...it just makes our previous decision for me to stay home until the kids are in school CEMENTED! It is my calling to first stay home and be a mommy. It is a secondary calling to teach other families children. This is something I will do with pleasure...and I will learn how to do it while my babies are only away from me a little bit. No, this does not mean I am quitting school...it just means I am not going to try to finish before they are in school. They need me. I can't get this back. I am going to ONLY take classes if I can get them on Tuesday's and Thursdays. If that doesn't happen, I put it off until the next semester! I can do this!!! :)

On another note, Heather is out of surgery but has not come out of anesthesia. She is moving her arms and legs PRAISE GOD!! Jump on over and post her a note!!

And again, changing gears, our dog, Jack, has decided it is time to jump on the trampoline. I will post pictures this weekend but WOW is that funny!!! :) He also got into the pond...just for a drink, he did not eat the fish! :) Now...Ida B...she is the perfect little female...no trampoline and no pond...did I mention they are male and female...I believe a spaying and neutering are in our NEAR future! Anyone played the lottery recently????

TOO FUNNY NOT TO SHARE

One of the ladies I read from Fish in My Hair, posted this today...I couldn't resist...too hilarious not to share! http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y13/DianeinTX/Bizarro.gif

Did you know

Dehydrated bananas are not only delicious, they are also a great source of gas? I called my mom to see how many I could eat and not get a stomach ache...she said the equivalent of one whole banana...ha! I had already eaten the equivalent of 6. NICE!!

Today's Reading

I read today. Read my Bible. I know this is not something I am supposed to brag about, I don't want anyone to think I am. I am just wanting a bit of accountability and I believe this might be helpful for me to remember to do what I promised God I would do. I believe what I read today was perfect for me. I needed to hear how much God wants of me. I know He wants more of me than I have given before. I love Him. I do...now I want to do it right...

You have to read this...

This is a must read for anyone who is having trouble, wants to know Christ, just wants someone to pray for and with...please visit here...WOW, what a testament of Faith.

Today

Was a good day. It was really productive for the first half of the day and I think I figured out what caused the second half to be not so productive...my nap. I keep thinking its a good idea to take a nap in the middle of the day, I think I am going to wake up refreshed and ready for the rest of the day. WRONG. I wake up grumpy, rushed to get out the door to pick Oldest Girl from school. And then the rest of the day is completely ruined. So I am vetoing the nap.

Do you think maybe God is trying to get me to read my Bible during the time I am thinking I need to nap? that is truly a possibility. Do you think maybe I could listen to Him? It's getting a little ridiculous I'm not listening more and trying to sleep less.

That is my goal this week. I am going to actually READ my Bible!!!!

This is fun

I love that I can finally put pictures up here without too much trouble, nice!!!

This weekend, we went to visit Jesse's Grandma at the Red Hat Ladies National Convention. She lives in Alabama so she was really excited that we came to visit her in Tennessee! :) It was an awesome awesome time! They are darling, 3000+ red hats everywhere...apparently if you wear a red outfit with a purple hat, it means your birthday is that month, how sweet to hear all the little ladies walking by saying "Happy Birthday" to Grandma's friend!!! We had a ball!!!!

My little man

9pm...all things in picture are in various places around the room...sometimes you just have to laugh!

If I didn't have Christ

A friend of mine is going through a really hard time right now. Her son made some seriously bad decisions and now he has to pay for it. We found out about it last night and I haven't stopped thinking about it. I don't know what my role in this other than support. I believe he knows what he did is wrong, I believe he knew it when it happened. I am struggling with a few things right now...my first responsibility is to my husband and my children. I know this. I will be very cautious about what is said in front of my children and very cautious about what they believe is right about what is going (if they were to hear anything). I also believe this has been a wake-up call for my friend. She is married to someone who is not a Believer but he is willing to go to Church. I believe this may be the catalyst to get them all into Church. I guess I think this is where I come in. I attend a great Church and think the Youth Group there is amazing...our Youth Minister is totally willing to meet with this family (mind you he's never met them) and totally willing to work with them.

Ok...this is so a brain dump post...but I did meet with our youth minister today and he had really good things to say...here are a couple:

1 You ARE who you hang out with. Like it or not, if you associate yourself with good people, inadvertantly you could become good ;). Likewise, if you hang out with hoodlums you could become a hoodlum. It's not that you started out thinking what they were doing is ok...I guess I can give an example here: I waited tables at a restaurant. I started out STRONG in my Faith, in my convictions and my beliefs...but the more I worked there, the more tolerant I became. I started being "ok with it" as long as I didn't participate. As I watched myself in this situation I knew I could become more than an observer. I could end up participating...at that point, it was time to leave...I have been toying with the idea of going back...I believe I am not supposed to go back. I can't be around that lifestyle.

2. Do you believe in a God that comes down from Heaven and points a finger at you and says "YOU SHOULDN"T BE DOING THAT, YOU ARE BAD, YOU CAN"T DO THAT KIND OF THING" Or do you believe in a God that comes down from Heaven looks at you and says "My precious, precious child, the decisions you are making are not what you are about. The decisions you are making are not good ones and that is not what you want for yourself. They are not what I want for you either."

Sorry for the brain dump...I am a little sad, upset, worried, prayerful, annoyed, angry...many other adjectives come to mind...I just know this kid and he needs some serious love and discipline and hopefully this is going to set him right...not the other way.

Random thoughts...

I want to take care of the environment. I do...do I sound weird to say I don't know how? I have been reading my friend Jamie's blog and she is talking about doing things and I am so impressed! It makes me think about another friend of mine who actually recycles a TON of things. I want to do this. I want to get the buckets and follow through with recycling...so that is my goal right now. I might even buy a gdiaper. Check them out! WOW! I know I have dealt with cloth diapers when my brother was a baby, he wore them and I cleaned them out in the potty...this can't be that much different. I should probably have done this a long time ago...but I am not sure I could have handled it. Not sure I can now but I am going to think about it before I rule it out. I am really serious about eating healthier, snacking healthier ( I could use ANY and ALL ideas for this...it is getting boring!) and just taking care of myself and my family better. This goes for my spiritual life as well. Things are looking up in that department, I have been seeking a lot lately and it is really making a difference in my life. I am feeling like a better mother and wife and well, hopefully a better person. I am minimally better...I want more for all of those areas...I guess if I didn't want more I wouldn't be doing what I was supposed to...if we start thinking we have it all figured out, we wont' grow...and when we don't grow, we become stagnant...think about stagnant water, EWWWW...I want to be moving all the time...in a good way. I guess that is enough rambling for now! :)

WOW! What a story!

I just finished reading "Izzy's Story" and WOW, I am so going to pay more attention to the water at my house!!

Wrestling with God

So I'm at the grocery store a couple of weeks ago...it is time to purchase hand soap. I sit there for a few minutes looking at the different types of soap, the fancy stuff that cost 2.86 per container or the cheaper stuff that costs .94 cents a container. I look and look and look. I wrestle with my thoughts, "why do I need the more expensive soap? It looks nicer. The container is nicer and it has about an 1/8 of an ounce more than the other one. I can handle this. I am not on that tight of a budget" All of this is going through my mind even though I know, I KNOW THIS...I am not supposed to purchase the more expensive soap. I am supposed to buy the less expensive becasue its JUST SOAP. So what did I do, you ask? Of course, I totally did the wrong thing and purchased the more expensive soap.

Fast forward about two weeks...I am officially using the more expensive soap. I hate it. It gets everywhere, it stains the sink (it's pink). It is such a pain.

Where does this leave me? I believe it leaves me thinking I need to listen more and think less. God has a plan for me. He knows what I should do and what is right for me. If I choose not to listen to Him, chances are I'm going to be annoyed with my soap...

Our Weekend

My brother and his wife came into town, it was a lot of fun! They have two dogs, Bella (a maltese) and Luca (a yorkie). Bella is truly a princess...she is adorable, sweet, kind, loving, playful...all of the things you desire in a dog. Luca...is so stinking cute you could eat him...then he opens his mouth and BARKS at EVERYTHING! He is really adorable...once he gets used to you, he loves to be rubbed and scratched and loved on...he just can't stand kids, did I mention I have four of those? He is scared of his own shadow (can't avoid that) and he just in general doesn't like new things...but he sure is sweet. I believe they are my only niece and nephew for awhile so I guess I should just sit back, relax and stop asking about human nieces and nephews.

Oldest boy scored his FIRST GOAL IN SOCCER EVER yesterday! He was so proud of himself, it was AWESOME! He played so well and loved playing! He is so athletic, it is so much fun to watch him on the soccer field! We stayed for the other game Hubby co-coaches, 6/7 year olds. They are all getting so talented! Most of the kids Hubby and Flicka's Hubby have coached for about three years, so watching them grow from cats on a soccer field with coaches chasing them ON THE FIELD to get the HERD OF CATS to move to the right position small children to agile 6/7 year olds has been so much fun! Can't wait for the rest of the season!!

That is it for my posting tonight...sleepy despite the 2 hour nap this afternoon!! Going to take advantage of the sleepiness and go to bed!!!

Don't forget about Heather's Big Day Tomorrow!

Tomorrow, jump on over to BooMama's and donate a dollar (that is only the minimum my friends) to Heather. Help her get a dinner at Burger King while she's in Minnesota. Check Heather out if you are curious about what is going on...XOXOXOXO

Curious...

As I was walking home from Flicka's house today, I encountered not so nice thoughts about my newest neighbor (not the person living there, let me be specific...but the owner of the house). I saw pretty flowers on the porch and my anger at this man really got the best of me and I actually wondered (for a split second)...what it would be like to take his flowers off the porch and plant them in my yard. He is not a nice man...I'm really upset with him...but I am not a thief. I have NEVER stolen anything (that I can remember...). I cannot believe this thought even entered my head. SERIOUSLY, what is wrong with me...

This is where my curiosity comes into play...does being a Christian mean I am to NEVER have those "bad" thoughts? Or does it mean I am to STOP myself from thinking these thoughts when they enter my head? Or does it mean I am to react "properly" to the thoughts, meaning not act on those thoughts? See, I think I am REALLY wrong in thinking this. I am really upset with myself and worried I do not have the right heart. Now, with this man, I don't have the right heart yet. I am obviously NOT trying hard enough to have the right heart...

I digress...the reason this bothers me is because in the New Testament, Jesus makes it VERY clear if you think about another woman when married (for men), you are cheating. So if I had this thought, did I steal?

Prayer. That is my only answer. I am praying for my own heart to be right with God.

Prayer Request...TIMES TWO...

A friend of ours, Rachel, is going through a really tough time with her mom...she has Stage III ovarian cancer. This is not an "easy" cancer...it has spread to a lot of other organs. If you could PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray for this family! They are amazing people and could totally use any prayer they can get!!!!

While you are at it...

I am sure a lot of you have already been HERE but if you haven't, please check out Heather...she is an awesome mom, homeschooler...just all around neat lady (nope, haven't met in person but WOW is she inspiring). So please, please, please pray for her as she goes through this new extremely tough situation. She has been diagnosed with a brain tumor. Thank The Lord she even found it...GO MAYO GO MAYO GO MAYO!! On April 18th, BooMama is hosting a fundraiser for Heather...if you feel it in you...give! :)

In My Quest to be a Better Parent

I have decided I have to give up Diet Coke. This is going to be more painful for me than I think dr*gs would be to give up. Simply put, I need a 12 step program...but believe I am being convicted. I have been reading "Shepherding a Child's Heart" and there has been no direct mention of Diet Coke (ha...wouldn't that be funny) but there has been mention of being a better parent (or rather a Biblical Parent)...to do this, I have been thinking about what I am exposing my children to. So along with the Diet Coke...ok...wait, let me finish one thought before another is started...

So I was thinking of the saying "Children learn what they live." I have been telling my kids how bad Diet Coke is for me. They are aware I shouldn't be drinking it. They are also aware I am putting it in my body and actually arguing with them about it sometimes. What am I teaching my children? "Hey, it's ok for ME to do what I'm not supposed to, I'M THE MOM". What is that all about? UGH!

As for the other, I can't even remember what I was going to write but I'm sure it was good information...tee hee. I will post tomorrow if I think of it. Pray for me PLEASE! I am terribly nervous about giving up DC. Seriously.

What do I consider important?

I've been soul-searching a lot. I don't believe I am finished, I believe this is something I will do forever. But I have figured a few things out. I, for some reason, want to do something "important". So I started thinking about that. What is important? Is it important that a lot of people know me? Is it important that a lot of people respect me? Is it important that I make a million dollars? What is important...not one of those things is important. I thought they were. I really did. I have been thinking it is such a waste of such a great personality (ok, I'm joking here) to just be a mom. HA! What was I thinking? What warped worldly view have I joined? What idol have I been serving? SELF. I have been serving myself and my worldly wants.

While I finally realized how absolutely important my children are (I have always thought they were important, please don't read more into this than there is), I also realized being their mom is equally important as them themselves. That means I have to be emotionally healthy, phsically healthy and mentally healthy to be a good mom to them. So what to do?

For myself, I am exercising. I am reading, A LOT. I am doing research to make sure I am making good choices for our family for a variety of things. I am praying. I am going to read my Bible more (I REALLY MEAN THIS...).

For my kids: I am praying for them. I am talking in a different tone to them (this is a constant battle for me, please pray for me if you think about it). I am hugging them more. I am making sure the decisions I make are going to benefit them. I am working on my relationship with my husband more (I want them to respect him and love him in a way that is different than I was able to with my own dad).

So this is my journey. I don't think it is a short trip...I believe this is lifelong. I don't want to end up as an empty nester thinking I failed my kids. Failed myself. Failed my relationship with my Father God. I want better for us...not monetarily (don't get me wrong, money is nice...ha!)...but spiritually and emotionally and physically.

Ok...my rambling is over....

Check this out!

This family took a 1 year "vacation". They are planning on doing a lot of acts of service...COOL idea!!

Why I am Thankful

This article was not something I had ever thought about. Not even for my parents. But it brought me to tears...how ungrateful I am for the gifts of my children. How I take them being here for granted. God gave me this time in their lives to MOLD them into followers of Christ...what am I doing to ensure this? So...I am reading "Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Tedd Tripp. I am determined to work through this parenting thing...I want to be the best mom I can be...and the best wife...guess that means I should be folding laundry instead of blogging, ha! :)

Why Questions...from Aaron

Our friend Aaron (of SPUR58) started this great topic...thought I would contribute my top 5 to my own blog...

Why was I given four beautiful children when I made the mistake I made so many years ago?

Why do I feel like a failure as a parent on a regular basis?

Why don't I read my Bible more consistently?

What does it take to feel like a Christian?

Why do I want my heart to feel like God is wrapped around it and through it and under it and over it...and yet, I feel like I don't have that heart....?

Apparently I am not finished "talking" yet!

Have you ever been on a jury? Watched an episode of "Law & Order"? Been curious (because I've never been on a jury) about what happens to the jury when the judge tells them to consider the words that just came from either the prosecuting attorney or defense attorney or the person on the stand to be stricken? (WHOO RUN ON SENTENCE). I was thinking about it tonight...in the library. Is there ANY way to remove the words you just heard from your brain? Is there any way to take back what has been put into your mind and hypnotise yourself into believing it isn't there anymore? Hmmmmmmm...something tells me I couldn't do that. This leads me to believe if I say something to someone, chances are, it's in their head. If I yell at my kids, it's there. It isn't going away. If I say something wrong to someone, intentionally or unintentionally, it's out there. Have you ever heard the story about the nails & the fence? There is a little boy, he is not being very nice...his dad needs him to understand what he is doing...he sends the boy to a fence with a bucket of nails and a hammer. He tells the boy to hammer the nails into the fence. The boy does. Then the dad tells him to remove all of the nails he just hammered into the fence. The boy does. Here's what makes my heart hurt...The dad then walks out to the fence to meet the boy. He kneels down next to him and calmly explains how the nails represent the words of anger or frustration or whatever the boy might have said to someone. The holes are what are left...even after the boy apologizes to the person he hurts. How often do I do this? I know this is the same as the previous post...ha! I am overloaded with pms and too little sleep.

The Two Second Rule

My mom taught Oldest Girl something last year...I wish I could figure out how to make it work myself. She taught her the "Two Second Rule". This rule is simple: before you speak, wait two seconds. IF what you say is still ok to say, say it. If not, you hurt someone unintentionally, you say the first thing on your mind...and you could say something you will regret. Now, an 8 year old has a little bit of a grace period when it comes to this new rule. Me...I'm 32...I don't believe I have an excuse anymore. If anything, I need to wake up and smell some time-out. It amazes me how quickly a small comment can turn into something you NEVER meant to say or NEVER meant someone else to feel. So...my new goal for myself: "Two Second Rule". I'm going to try it...see how it works. I am generally a decent person...but with my husband...my kids...and my friends...I think I need to work a little...ok...a lot. I truly believe you can never improve yourself enough...I want to be a better person...ongoing...

Amazing Hearts...

So today, we had a yard sale. All day long I have been fighting the "grumpies". I hate the grumpies, they make me grumpy...(by the way, I'm the grumpies...). So anyway, I finished with my yard sale earlier than normal because I was just tired...and Oldest Girl had to go to the orthodontist (she just received her expander today). Anyway...the point of this whole story is this...I decided to put the rest of the yard sale stuff in the front lawn with a sign that said FREE. So I leave...and get a phone call from my friend Flicka telling me she was watching some people at our house...they were looking at stuff...then they looked at our herb garden and Flicka was worried they were going to try to take something not in the "Free Sale". So she (THANK YOU FLICKA...you have no idea how appreciated you are...) came down here to make sure they weren't taking something they shouldn't...and found out THEY WERE TRYING TO LEAVE MONEY! I couldn't believe it. I seriously think that was medicine to my soul. It wasn't the money...that wasn't it all...it was the heart behind the money. What special people they were to leave money at a FREE YARD SALE! So if it was you...thank you. You are truly special people!!

Why Not?

So 5 Minutes for Mom is having a contest. I am NEVER opposed to winning something...so how about a DYSON Slim? YEE HAW! Check out Dyson....

Contentment

What do Amish people have that we don't have? I'm not talking about the electricity, the running water, the vehicles or the clothing...nope...contentment. They live a life of simplicity and born out of the simplicity is the contentment like no other.

I am sitting here in my family room...all is quiet in the house, the kids are all either sleeping or reading quietly in their rooms. I am sitting on our oversized chair with my dirty feet propped up reading a book...and listening to the pond in the backyard. No...I don't have my ranch with 100 acres. I don't have horses. I don't have lots of room in my house.

What I do have: A beautiful home. An amazing family. A loving husband (no matter how much he drives me crazy, he is awesome!). A gorgeous flower garden. A swingset that makes my kids happy. Food. Clothing. Shelter. For just a few minutes today...I am sitting in complete and utter contentment. I can keep this going if I try hard enough. The worldly things are not what I want. I want God. I want Christ IN ME. I want peace that passes understanding. So right now, I am starting with contentment.

Grammar Girl...HOW AWESOME IS THIS?

Check out Grammar Girl. I had heard of her. I of course have no idea if I am writing grammatically correct...so tell me if I am wrong, ha! :)

Oldest Girl...

I do believe she is growing up. She just got a phone call from a friend of hers from school, JUST TO CHIT CHAT! How funny is that? It is really funny to listen to them talk. She has never chit chatted with anyone other than her grandparents on the phone...cracking me up. And making me a little sad...oh I just love her. She is so cute...At least she isn't trying to hide in another room while she is talking! :)

The Latest Book in My World

I am currently Reading Francine Rivers "The Last Sin Eater" and am somewhat mistified by the book. I am not sure why I am saying this other than I know I put this one down before because I couldn't get into it. Now I am having a love/hate relationship with it. It is not a "typical" Francine Rivers book that you can't stop reading...although, I am struggling to stop reading each time I pick it up...but it's not super easy reading. The language is old scottish or something like that...Currently I am picturing a group of mountain people in the Appalachians. Not sure if that is correct...but that is what I am picturing in my head. Apparently this is now a movie. Do you think Christians are making a move to take over the big screen? I hope so. I know I want to see the movie. But I have a STEADFAST rule...BOOK BEFORE MOVIE! It is truly imperative to me I read the book or my children read the book before they see a movie.

I am really interested in seeing where this book takes me. I believe this is a Spiritual Journey...I'm enjoying it. I really love to watch/participate in God's plan...

My Sister's Hangers...

Loved this post from my sister...it is so sweet and well...thought provoking, which, as always, I love!!!

too many hangers...
Today I cleaned out my closet. Two bags and one box full of hangers I am throwing away...empty hangers. Pointless hangers.
Do you ever feel like your thoughts are hangers? you know...sitting in your brain just hanging around with no point... no reason. Just a bunch of mindless thoughts rambling around taking up endless bits of time.
I feel that way tonight. My brain is overloaded with exhaustion (which is why I am on xanga at 9:30...)and I have these thoughts swimming around my head - going nowhere. Opinions upon opinions with random pieces of reason thrown in to make me think I am analyzing concepts to reach an end. (I am not really - I just like to over analyze, philosophizing until it just fizzles out...)
Frankly I love to philosophize - wish more people just enjoyed sitting around discussing the merits of this line of reasoning verses another. But most people just end up getting really defensive and the conversation is pretty moot since it becomes an argument instead of a deep conversation.
Defensiveness appears to be a pride issue at the heart... another thing for me to work on... hangers... all of this is just another hanger. One day - I hope to take all of my hangers and give them away. And then maybe like the dry cleaners... God will give them back to me with clothes on them. You know this is the way my brain works...somehow hangers became so much more... and now I can picture God giving me a hanger with say the clothing of righteousness... or joy...or patience.... So in my head hangers are so much more than empty thoughts (or hanging objects) rambling around my head.
And when hangers and God somehow go together...you know it is time for bed.
Night!

Little House On The Prairie

So I hadn't seen the episode where Laura stuff's her dress with apples...hilarious! I actually laughed out loud. But thats not what got me. What got me was Mrs. Ingall's response to Laura's silliness...she made the statement that God went to all the trouble to make Laura Ingalls so why should she try to be something she's not?

It made me stop in my rocking chair and think. How often do we try to be something we aren't? How often do we try to please the masses instead of doing what we KNOW is the right thing? Do we stick to our morals? Do we stick to our values? Do we do what God would want us to do? Do we KNOW what we believe?

It was really thought provoking and really good. I need to be the best ME I can be. I can do this because I believe in myself and I believe in God. I believe He made me and I believe He wants me to be myself. Wow, good thoughts from Little House on the Prairie...ha! :)

Two Down Two To Go

So apparently that has been a title to my posts before. Why do I feel like history is repeating itself. UGH! So Oldest Girl as well as Youngest Girl are sick. Oldest was feeling better today and then tonight, took a turn for the worse. Nice. I wonder if I am doing something wrong as far as sanity...then I think, we are washing our hands until the babies hands are bleeding from dryness. I clean the kitchen with cleanser...I know, Oldest Girl is in school, all four of them are in Sunday School. So there you go...this winter has me down. Sad and frustrated and, well...sick.

Found a New Blog To Read...

I really was just playing with the Crazy Hip Blog Mama's and their latest carnival...so I didn't really expect to find someone else to read. That being said, I woke up and realized I had not found everyone on the internet that was interesting in my short 3 months of blogging...ha! So here we go, I found a GREAT read, she is a mother of four (wonder why that interests me) she is a full-time college student...hmmm...sound familiar? And she just basically sounds neat! So I am now reading a new blog and you should check her out too!!!

Why Can't I Seem to Follow Through?

I keep saying I want to read my Bible. To do a Bible Study. What is my problem? I think the answer might be in getting rid of the TV for awhile. I am not saying get rid of it forever. But turn it off. Read more. Stay off the computer more. None of this is news to me. It is the follow through I struggle with (thus the title, ha!). I know I should do this. In fact, I seriously WANT to do this. I want to be the person God wants me to be. So there you go...this is my daily struggle.

First Official Day of Spring Break

And Oldest Girl is sick. What a bummer. She had a fever last night and said her cough was bothering her. Now she has lain (is that a word) around all day long and says her throat hurts and keeps coughing. *SIGH* I just want well children. Is that too much to ask? Was going to get my hair cut tomorrow, I was so excited, it is from a friend of mine and I was actually getting to go to the salon (which meant a hair washing and a blow-dry...*SIGH**SIGH*). Cancelled the appointment...Then there is the topper offer...Oldest Son is still struggling with good decisions. He thinks it's ok to take other peoples drinks/candy/gum/mints, whatever he sees fit to take and then lie about it when he is caught. I'm trying to make sure I keep an eye on him at all times...but any of you with more than, well with any children, know it is an act of congress to keep them alive, let alone an eye on them at all times. So there you go. I discussed discipline with a friend of mine yesterday, it was very interesting to talk to her....needless to say, Oldest Son is in his room, grounded. He had a peanut butter sandwich for dinner and does not get to come out to play tonight. Although this might sound extremely severe, I assure you, it has been long in coming, I am really wanting to break this habitual stealing and lying as quickly as possible. He understands why he is in there and has been handling this discipline better than he has ever handled anything else. Maybe he is getting it? I sure hope so. I hope I haven't just damaged my son forever. Oh my...I just want to raise Happy, Healthy, Honest, Christ Loving Children...Pray for me...

A Day In The Life

It all starts rather innocently. I wake up, find out I am not going to the gym, I lay back down and I go back to sleep. I vaguely become aware the children are wanting breakfast...so the oldest gets the younger children breakfast and so I continue to doze. I gradually realize there are many different noises which are probably not good. So I force myself to come out of my mildly comatose state...ha! What do I find you ask...LOTS of Special K with Red Berries...LOTS AND LOTS of cereal. Ha ha! So I decide we are going to not get upset about it, it's technically my fault for being too lazy to get out of bed. So on to the next challenge...four children, dressed, hair fixed, teeth brushed and out the door at 8:30am when I woke up at 8. Ha! To this, I scoff...considering the fact that not one of the four children ended up with brushed teeth...Where are we headed at this time? HA! The orthodontist. So here I have four children with very dirty teeth going to see someone who works on teeth for a living. This is not my idea of excellent parenting. Moving on...what do we do after the ortho? We head to Oldest Girl's school to drop off the munchkin. This particular part is pretty uneventful. I love being at Oldest Girl's school. It is always happy and fun at the school. So we decide (the other three and I) to eat lunch at the school, it's easier than going home and making lunch. This is an act of congress...three YOUNG children in a cafeteria line where the cafeteria workers are on such a tight schedule they do not like to be detained for any length of time...did I mention I have twin TWO year old's and a somewhat shy 5 year old with me. So there you go...we get our food, get to a table and start to eat. Of course we spill our chocolate milk ALL over the table and we eat ONLY the fruit...by the way, I paid for the meals, so I'm a little on the UGH side. So I try to encourage more food in the little bodies. Pretty unsuccessful which means I have three FULL meals left. Ha...moving on. We leave school and head home...for naps. My Oldest Boy goes "down for naps" still but pretty much does nothing but play with his toys the entire time. Which is fine with me...he is resting. The other two, that is a whole other ball game. Boy Twin will NOT go down for a nap without a HUGE fight. A HUGE fight. This is mainly because he no longer has his "plug". Frustrating but we have success at some point. This is a day in the life leading up to the big issue...Youngest Boy decides to spill milk all over my computer. My up and down arrow and right to left arrow and my enter button...out of commission. It's interesting typing with a broken computer...not fun, but definitely interesting.

Did I mention Oldest Girl had a "leprechan" make a disaster out of her classroom today? I love her teacher, he ALWAYS makes learning fun! The kids were totally freaked out, they LOVED it.

To Whom It May Concern

I have officially written my thank you card and put it (stamped) in the mailbox and hopefully our mail lady will pick it up today. Thus removing any comments to the contrary to be made by any family member who might be disgraced by my lack of thank you card sending ability.

Struggling...Again...

So I am back to the struggling point. At what point does it stop? I have such issues with anxiety and I don't understand it. Why? What am I supposed to be learning from this? I know I can get through it, I have a million times before, I just hate the process. I wish I could come up with a way to completely avoid the anxiety issues and to just BE. I am generally one of the happiest people around...really am...right now, I am not. I am down. So, what SHOULD I BE DOING? You guessed it, reading my Bible and praying. So I am going to sign off and attempt to do just that. I think I REALLY REALLY REALLY need to get myself into a Bible study, that generally helps me concentrate on reading.

I'm BAAACCCKKKK

It has been ages since I've written anything! Hubby and I got back from a trip to San Francisco on Wednesday and it has been crazy ever since! I didn't realize how much we needed that trip until just this week. We had such a great time, we ate at AMAZING restaurants, visited places you only hear about, saw beautiful sights, wow, I will have to write a post just about all of the things we did. But for this post, I want to let anyone who has not gone on a trip alone with their spouse why they need to go...

Hubby and I have NEVER been on a trip. We have been married for 10 years and the first two years, we bought a house and then had a baby...and another baby...and then two more babies...so we have always visited family with the kids or done things with the kids. This year, we decided we needed a trip alone. Now I know why. I remember why I married my husband. He has always had an awesome personality...he has always been sweet and kind and loving and caring and fun...but life happens and those things get covered up by the stress of bills, kids, house, work, well...life. So those wonderful personality traits he has can be covered by being a husband and provider. This last week, he got to be free of all of those things and we had the time of our lives. He was hilarious! I watched him chase crabs up and down a beach trying to catch them (he was successful), I watched him in AWE at Alcatraz while he heard the audio tour about the old jail. I watched him enjoy meals like he had never been fed before. It was so good for me to see him again. I think it is something we will both savor for a long time. It has been fun at home again. We have been so stressed out for so long, this was so awesome.

So Hubby of mine, thank you for being you and being the wonderful father, husband and friend you are. I love you!!!!!

Tonight, I want to remember

To love my oldest boy with all of the things that make him tick. I want to love his impulsivness. I want to appreciate his wanting to be the best little boy in the entire world. I want to love on him all the time and let him know how truly special he is. I want him to know his frustration is noticed. His intelligence is noticed. His loving spirit is noticed. He is noticed. He is not just a "middle child", he is my big boy, my creative, hilarious, curious, super smart, loving, sweet, special child. He loves to randomly give me kisses or backrubs or hugs...it is so awesome. So tonight, my oldest boy, this post is all about you and the special young man you have already become and the enjoyment I have watching you grow every day! I love you TONS & TONS!

Not in So Much Trouble Anymore

So Flicka's husband suggested I dehydrate my ipod. So I did. Guess what, my friends, it works. I am so glad, because that means I will not be ipodless (as I was not buying a new one to replace my moronic self). So, THANK YOU Mr. FLICKA! :)

Check out this blogger

Just thought it might be fun to help this guy out. We'll see how it goes for him, check out PHIL at Make it Great!

"Tuesday's with Morrie"

Did I already mention I am reading this book? WOW! Morrie has things almost figured out. Unless I am mistaken, he is not a Christian, but he sure had a lot of information I need to hear. I forget about reality, the lack of importance material posessions have in the grand scheme of things. I forget how important just LOVING our family and our friends and even our enemies...Seeing a need, filling a need. I love to fill a need. I think it is so awesome to share anything I can with someone...now I just need to make sure I am doing that for my family too. My family is so important, SO IMPORTANT. I am hoping I am showing them how much I love them.

Storms tonight will probably mean children will be in our bedroom, ha! :)

I am SO in trouble...

I just did a load of laundry...put it in the wash without checking pockets. I didn't check my pockets or anyone else's. Why not, you say? Because I ASSUMED I WOULD JUST FEEL ANYTHING THAT MIGHT BE A PROBLEM. Fast forward about 45 minutes...Does water ruin an iPod Nano? Ya think? This little mama is going to be iPodless for a long time I have a feeling. My husband was VERY gracious...I, on the other hand, am having a coronary. That means I threw away a LOT of money. I am so upset and well, it is TOTALLY my fault. I hate when I can't blame someone else. UGH UGH UGH!!! Happy Saturday to me.

I had this post in my head...

I was going to complain. I was going to complain about rude people...about various other things. Instead, I started reading some of the blogs I subscribe to. I read one from a friend of mine talking about the things she is giving up for Lent. She is not Catholic, this is simply a time of reflection for her and she is giving some things up. I read another friends blog about the Proverbs 31 woman. So...complaining is gone, anger at the reason I was going to complain, gone.

Does it amaze anyone else how God works? He heard my cry of anger, He saw my frustration and my building up of annoyance...He led me to people who were seeing things in such a way, it benefits my well-being. WOW! That amazes me.

I recently asked another relatively new friend of mine advice for my walk with Christ. She was brilliant in her response to me and she has helped me more than she knows. One of the things she said is that I need to be talking to God all day long. It doesn't have to be these big, long, sit down prayers that ramble on about nothing...it can be short and sweet...and that is basically all I have done. I am not good at sitting down and CONCENTRATING on my prayer. I hope someday to be better at it, but right now, I am lucky to remember it was God I was talking to if I sit down for too long. So I am happy to say I have been praying small prayers...all day long. I don't think I am anywhere near where I even wanted to be by now but I am moving forward. I am seeing things I believe He is wanting me to see. I am learning about my relationship with Christ, it's not anyone else's.

On to another part of this, I am not sure if this is considered an epiphany or not...actually, I have no idea what to call it...I will say this, showering to praise music is the best way to get clean!!! I started just thinking and thinking and thinking. I was listening to Shawn McDonald (if you haven't heard him, FIND HIM AND LISTEN, HE IS AMAZING). His song was saying "I cannot do it on my own". Suddenly, I thought, I can't have a relationship with Christ by just thinking I can do it. I'm not made that way, God didn't make me to have a relationship without Christ being the one I lean on. I keep thinking, why don't I have these emotions that other people do when they talk about God...why don't I react to certain things the way other people do? What is wrong with me? NOTHING. God designed each of us differently and the only way ANY of us can have a relationship with Christ is to lean on Christ. Fill ourselves with Christ. Learn more about Christ, LOVE ON CHRIST. We can't do any of this on our own. I'm not sure if any of this is coming out how I am feeling it but I do know I am thinking a little bit differently every day. It is really kind of fun. I am learning something new about myself and my world every single day. I am really enjoying this walk.

On yet another note, that seems to follow along the same track, I am reading another book, "Tuesday's With Morrie" by Mitch Albom. It is a true story about a professor and one of his old students and the relationship they share as Morrie is dying of ALS (Lou Gherig's disease). It is heartwrenching at best. It is amazing to read how someone can have such a positive outlook on what the important things in life are even though they are losing function of their body little by little EVERY SINGLE DAY! The book is reminding me of the important things in my life. Morrie talks about not needing the "Achievements" to feel fulfilled. I am a lover of shopping. I don't necessarily love "STUFF" but I love to shop. I am filling some sort of void when I am shopping...now I have to figure out what that void is and fill it more appropriately.

On a relatively different note, I am SAD...my neighbor and dear friend is moving. Actually, she moved today. This is going to be a huge adjustment...I know I still have my Flicka, I am so thankful for this, it would be MUCH worse if Flicka were not here...but I will miss this friend. I am sure others out there understand what I am saying. She is moving 3 miles away, not a far distance, but logistically, it is much more than 3 miles. I am afraid of the dynamics of our friendship changing. I know from experience it is something that happens and I plan on working on trying to make this something that doesn't happen. Anyway, working through all of this as well as the millions of other thoughts I cannot even "verbalize".

So this is my world tonight. I am in thinking mode.

I've been struggling

My struggle may sound RIDICULOUS to most people...and sometimes I think it is ridiculous...I am struggling with my father. I am struggling because my father is not the husband he should be to my mother. He basically ignores her. He treats her as though she is an obligation he is HAVING to spend time with, when he bothers to show up. Generally, he doesn't show up. He believes work is more important than his wife...and I know this. I know this so well, I am sick of him. I don't want to talk to him, I have to force myself to be kind to him because I really want to share what I think of how he acts to him. My mother...she hates this...but sticks by him. Recently I have been flooded with people talking about a book called "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers. This is an amazing book. I hadn't thought much about it...I've already read it...until this morning. The third person has mentioned this book and the Book of the Bible it references, Hosea. My sister and I talk...she brings up Hosea when talking about my father...So here is my struggle: I believe God wants me to pay attention to Hosea, to forgive my father, YET AGAIN, and be like my mother...Hosea. UGH! This is so hard for me, I don't understand how you can be the way my father is and still feel good about yourself. I can't understand how I am supposed to forgive him, love him through this and be the daughter I am suppposed to be to my father. Hosea. God can do this. I can't. So my request this morning is prayers for my heart. To feel the love I am supposed to feel for my father, to feel the Hosea run through me...

10 O'clock News...Final Adoption

After having my little hissy fit in my last post, God managed to remind me of my beautiful life...I was watching the News tonight and there was a woman who needs our prayers. Her name is Diane and she is an adoption agent for Ukranian adoptions. She has placed over 300 children and is now retiring...after finding one more family...for her own two daughters...Diane has stage 4 cervical cancer and is a single mother. She is not giving up, she is just making provisions for the "just in case". What an amazing mother. And how blessed am I? I will remember Diane not only in my prayers but also when I start to feel grumpy with my four healthy children and my healthy husband and my healthy self. I think I just got my hand spanked...and I deserved a full on trip over a checkered apron...

Tonight is the night

I feel like a not so great mom. I am so ready for my kids to go to bed. Youngest girl, sick first, Hubby, surgery, youngest boy, latest one sick...fever of 102.4. GREAT! UGH! I am grumpy and knowing I need to pray constantly, which is helping the grumpiness (can you imagine what I would be like without it?). I know this too shall pass. I know this is normal, and I also know people who are going through a heck of a lot worse than I am. I guess I am just complaining, getting it out of my system so tomorrow we can start fresh and I can be GOOD MOM again! :) I know I shouldn't even be on the computer when they are awake. I do REALLY well for awhile and then I suddenly am not so good at it...then I get better...then not so good...you get the drift. I hope my children know how important they are to me. I just am tired right now. You know how hubby's are when they are not feeling up to par...picture having to have one home 24/7 NOT OF HIS OWN FREE WILL...for two whole weeks...UGH! I know this could be looked at as a special time of family togetherness...hopefully at some point, he will feel better and I can discuss this family togetherness with him...right now, that would be just a log on a fire of irritation. He is getting irritated at me, at the kids, at the house, at life in general...do you see a pattern here? Are we pathetic, not normally. Normally things go pretty smoothly...but we also have a routine in the house while hubby is at work...and when he is home, he doesn't seem to like our routine as we do it...so that is a bit of a stretch for me as well as the kids, they aren't used to having to be PERFECT at lunchtime, that is normally pretty casual at our house...oh well...again, I know this too shall pass. I know God has a plan for this time. I am thoroughly excited, hubby is reading a book right now, the one I am going to read when he is finished or maybe while he is reading it, not sure yet "Shepherding a Child's Heart". He is really into it and I am excited he has picked up a book, ON HIS OWN, and is reading it! I will gladly let him have as many bathroom breaks as he needs to finish it!!! Ok...going to lay like a vegetable in front of the television and do mindless things on the computer to occupy my normally exciting mind with nothingness! :)

The Receiving End...

I am not a good receiver of help. I hate being on this end of things and I don't know how to do it without sounding like I am begging someone not to do something. Which is generally not the case, I love being taken care of...I am always worried about putting someone out financially, taking away from family time, or whatever it happens to be that I want to worry about at that particular moment. So this week has been a challenge for me. Not only am I receiving help, but I am also staying in the house (which is probably really good for the pocketbook in this house). I am taking care of my husband, who is normally the big strong man of the house (by the way, I am a TERRIBLE TERRIBLE nurse). I am not getting to sleep in my own bed (I am so scared of kicking Hubby in the middle of the night). I forgot to do an assignment due to youngest girl being so sick...the list goes on. The thing is, I am not having a bad time. I am enjoying spending quality time with my family. I am enjoying having someone here to play with the kids while I play on the computer a little...I am finding I love my life. The other thing is this: I am blessed. Do you guys ever sit there and think about HOW BLESSED you are? It is not something I do on a regular basis and am realizing I should! Tuesday, my mother-in-law, cousin-in-law and aunt-in-law, all came to our house (2hour drive) to help me with the kids and keep me company at the surgery center and to support hubby...WOW...Tuesday night, my Flicka fed my entire family for 3 days (taco soup, YUMMY)...numerous friends have called to check on hubby and youngest girl...and tonight...my precious oldest girl's teacher and his wife are feeding our family. WOW. Talk about blessed. Tonight I am going to remember to never forget how much love can be shown in a time of need...and I am going to remember to remember this even when I am not in need...and then I am going to pay it forward...because that is what I like to do...Thanks for listening to my jumbled brain! :)

Last Night...

So the evening started out great! We decided to try something different, we cooked our chicken and our baked potatoes in the fireplace. The kids thought that was great! We just put some Lawry's season salt on the chicken, wrapped it up in foil and stuck it on the side of the fireplace...microwaved the baked potatoes for a few minutes then put them in foil and put them in the fireplace. FUN and the kids loved the food! Then it was book, bath and bed...and the fun begins.

So I have a 2 1/2 year old with a fever for four days, cough that is terrible and now, she has decided to vomit 5 times in the middle of the night. *SIGH* then at about 5am...the other twin decided to wake up with a TERRIBLE croupy cough. UGH! I am so tired of illness. Hubby doesn't feel any better and is not overly happy about it...at least we have the oldest two...they are healthy, I am healthy (albeit tired)...and really, hopefully all of this will go away soon. Prayers are a blessing, thank you, I can feel them...I have been singing the "Scripture Rock" song, "All Things are Possible With God"...I know this...I'm just thankful God put that song in my heart this morning...I totally needed it!

"Shepherding a Child's Heart"...Thoughts?

I know a friend of mine is reading "Shepherding a Child's Heart" and she seems to really like it. I have read a little of it and so far REALLY like it. I just went to Amazon to see about an audiobook and read some reviews, WOW there are some serious opinions about this book out there. Have any of my blogging friends read "Shepherding a Child's Heart" and if so, what did you think? THANK YOU! :)

WORKS FOR ME WEDNESDAY

Everytime you buy laundry detergent, it comes with a cap. That cap can be saved each time you buy new detergent and then you can use the new cap for the kids in the bathtub. It makes a great bathtub toy as well as a cup to rinse hair, etc. Easy, but it "Works for Me". Check out tons of works for me's at Rocks In My Dryer

TODAY...

So hubby had his gall bladder taken out today. Youngest girl is sick...she has been running a temp the past two days and I am not having fun. UGH! Just found out hubby will be out of work for 2 weeks. I'm borderline GRUMPY! Requesting prayers! :) I know God will see us through this, He always does. I just fight the grumpies when things don't go the way I want them to go. I stress about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING I can stress about. HELLO, PRAY SISTA!! I know this...now if I would just do it instead of stressing. I'm going to bed...maybe not to sleep...youngest girl, not interested in sleep right now and cannot have more medicine until later. *SIGH* Everyone else is healthy, that is a huge blessing! I am sad for Oldest girl because I won't be able to go to her Valentine's party tomorrow and she has not been warned yet. UGH! :) Ok...going to bed, for real this time! :)

Don't want to forget to remember this...

Youngest boy has been telling anyone he can get his hands on, or should I say anyone within any hearing distance "My Choo-Choo Ho Ho". Translation being, Santa brought him a choochoo train for Christmas and 2 months later, he is still head over heels for it and is loving it every day. So much so he can't stop telling anyone and everyone about it. The other day, he spoke with his daddy on the phone and I got back on the phone with hubby...who promptly told me "I'm surprised he didn't tell me about his choochoo"...to which I told youngest boy...who proceeded to say "Oh" and request the phone again to correct his mistake. WOW, do I love these kids...they are so amazing! :) Thank you God for the opportunity to be their parent!

Additional Prayer Request...

I don't know if you guys read this but Ashley has officially been diagnosed with cancer in her little lungs. Please, please, please put her and her family in your prayers. They are struggling like crazy to keep themselves positive and their Faith strong, I am shocked by their faith. I cannot imagine going through what they have gone through, they are amazing! I don't even know what to say...I can't imagine this...I wish I could have 1/2 the faith Trish and her husband have. What a testimony.

Prayer Request

Hubby's co-worker is going through a rough time, his father is in the hospital with complications from diabetes. He may have to have his leg removed. His name is Harry Lawrence, Sr. If you guys could pray hard the doctors do the right thing, what is best for Mr. Lawrence, Sr. Harry, Jr. is worried his father will give up on life if they remove his leg. Thank you in advance for your prayers! :)